A fight over Nicosia

If you have not read the below blog I suggest you do so before carrying on with this one.

So as you probably read, the below blog talks about this whole Nicosia vs Limassol 'fight' we have been having since Cyprus got electricity. Well the next day I had a conversation that made me realise how much closer I am to Nicosia than I thought and how much I will stand up for my adopted city. Here it how it goes...

I was meant to meet up a delegate from a European embassy for a 'date' on Friday night. We met a few months ago and decided to get to know each other over drinks on Friday night. She got to the capital late, then I went to the gym, then I went for drinks, then she went for dinner and I went to Zoo (that's for another blog post though - maybe tomorrow) and so our date never materialised. So she called on Saturday morning for a chat. Instead I got a laundry list of why she hates Nicosia.

ME: Hi Embassy Bitch, how are you?

EB: I'm wondering around Nicosia and I hate it.

ME: Oh? Why so?

EB: There is just nothing to do and there is no sea and nowhere to sunbathe and I just hate it. I've been wondering around the city centre and it's just so hot. Why do they have the capital here? They should move it to the sea. They should move it to Larnaca.

ME: Well, Nicosia has been the capital of the island since 1000AD, that's capital of 1,000 and 8 years and the British made it the administrative centre of the island and so you can't change it because there is no sea. Plus Nicosians are rich, they all have holiday homes in Protaras. Nicosia is a corporate town filled with businesses and moving the capital as you say to Larnaca will run up debts of billions of euros. If Nicosia seems ugly it's because you are in the centre and because of the invasion and division the suburbs have been developed mostly. (Have you been to Engomi bitch?)

EB: Oh. Well... still... The hotel staff were rude. They said they don't iron t-shirts and I need it ironed... and there is not enough privacy to check my emails.

ME: The staff were rude? Nicosians are busy people. You're lucky they didn't banish you to... Aradipou!

EB: And I joined a dating site for Cyprus. All the guys want up to 30 years old.

ME: How old are you?

EB: 35. No. Oops. 36, I'm 36. 36

ME: Hmmmm

EB: And the guys are conservative.

ME: It's a small society. Reputation means a lot.

EB: Yes but Luxembourg is small and they are not conservative.

ME: You can't compare a north European country that is more or less a rich city where it's been liberal for years to Cyprus where reputation is worth it's weight in gold.

EB: And the men are so hairy. I can't deal with it.

ME: So don't. And for the record, most men wax. Even I do.

EB: And they say they are not gay! What queens!

ME: It has nothing to do with being queens. It's that Cyprus care about their appearance and are very fashion conscious and want to look their best. No self-respecting Cypriot will dare to go out looking good and want the whole package to look good.

EB: How odd.

ME: It's not odd, it's a different culture. Just because the culture isn't banger and mash it doesn't make it odd, or wrong or strange. It makes it different from yours. And that's the colonialist mentality you need to work on.

All this because the Embassy Bitch hated Nicosia and Cypriot men.

Why does this keep happening to me? I swear to you. Cypriot girls find me too 'foreign.' Foreigners find me western but Cypriot enough to think that a) I'm exotic but b) that's I'm western enough to slag Cyprus off to me. When in fact it's my country. And they say that Cypriots are arrogant. You know what I say? Good! I'm glad they are. It's a form of pride, albeit wrong, but still... I just wish Cypriots too more pride in what they are rather than how they look or wanting to be Greek, or Euro-Cypriot or some of this rubbish. Cyprus is great. Act like it is!