OMG!

After a breakup, when the tears have dried and the wounds have healed we often go through a time of reconciliation with two aspects. Reconciliation with the person who broke our heart and reconciliation with the present; the fact that we are no longer with the person and are back at square one, alone, single, and having to date again. It can be a daunting task when placed comfortably in a relationship where we no longer feels its me against the world but us against the world. Dating = me against the world but I need to find someone.

Eventually, we wish the ex the best, hope that they are happy and wish them the best if they are with someone new and has set up the business you encouraged them to do. This was the case with IsraeliBaby. After it ended I was shattered for about a year and half and when I came out from under her spell I could talk to her and function like a real human-being rather than a nervous wreck. She got back with her ex and set up her own company in Athens, Tel Aviv and then Jerusalem. I felt happy for her and wished her all the best in her relationship and life in general. She always had a special place in my heart.

That is until recently. When an ex hurts you again after it’s over then the battle line must be redrawn, ammunition must be bought and a thick-skin should be re-grown. Certain places are out of bounds: cafes, clubs, cities even whole countries. I claimed Limassol as my territory but as she still lived there, I went on holiday to Tel Aviv, making the city mine. She then took revenge by coming to Cyprus all the time, claiming the island as hers. Technically an ex can’t hurt you romantically after it’s over. But you’d be surprised. I mean, when a country is randomly attacked by another, the first reaction is surprise. And then you say: I should have been prepared. I should have seen it coming. But you never do.

PartyAnimal invited me out one Friday night. I declined as I had to finish off a project I was working on. The next day he told me all about an Israeli girl he has been talking to (and more) that night. The more details he gave the more she sounded like IsraeliBaby, with a few differences, such as she had short hair. He mentioned that he wanted to see her again but she was flying back to Tel Aviv on Monday and that he really liked her hotter, blonder friend but settled for her instead. I shrugged off the strange feeling in my stomach as too much Mexican food. But my instincts never lie. Which is why I ignore them.

A week passed by when I logged onto Facebook. IsraeliBaby had updated her profile to >>IsraeliBaby is: Back from Cyprus<<. And uploaded photos of her with a) her short hair and b) her hotter, blonder friend. I felt like I was hit by an oil tanker! I called up PartyAnimal and asked what her name was telling him that he had been with my friend. ‘I can’t really remember’ he said unfazed as if he had just swallowed a kilo of tranquilizers. Either he felt bad and was lying or was so drunk at the time that he couldn’t remember, which knowing him was an actually possibility. ‘What’s her number?’ I asked. He gave me the last three digits to see if they corresponded when in fact I really wanted her number again (I deleted them after I began dating BabyX which ended in disaster as you well know).

IsraeliBaby ended our engagement to get back her ex and now that she’s having ‘stands’, it must obviously be over between them. So she left me to get with her ex and now that she’s single again she hooked up with my friend? Wow. The irony. I swear all this is true. I am not making any of this up. I mean, who would think of a scenario so outlandish? And the funny thing was, to me she was beautiful when in fact, my friend wanted her friend. Oh the humour!
And what’s more. I’m the Jewish one! I don’t know what I want to say here; but I’m the Jewish one! Jews stick together. It says so in the Bible (somewhere).

The thing about PartyAnimal that annoyed me was that he was unapologetic that he had been with my ex. But I had no reason to be angry at ether of them for the simple fact that: they never met. I never introduced IsraeliBaby to PartyAnimal because we weren’t friends then. They didn’t know each other because I didn’t know PartyAnimal at all. So I couldn’t be mad at him because it was no one’s fault.

And that’s when I heard it. A big crack just ripped open and all the feelings I had for IsraeliBaby broke. They instantly vanished. From IsraeliBaby she became Israeli-eBay; I’d give her away in a heartbeat. At the time, even though she wasn’t in love with me, I still loved her. She didn’t call me but I thought of her often. She didn’t call me on my birthday but I sent her a card. She still meant something to me. And now? Nothing. Ani margish klum; as they say in Hebrew. I feel nothing. And that’s what’s actually upsetting I held her in such high regard. Once I said I’d love her forever now I don’t even care.