So while on the Balkan Bonanza, Laverne (who I had renamed Jablonski) and I were sitting in Athens Airport. Of course for the umpteenth time I had to visit the bathroom because I am a neurotic. I get back and see Laverne (aka Jablonski) sitting there with a furious look on her face. No if you met Laverne you will instantly recognise that she is the sweetest, kindest person to walk the Earth and wants to save the world. I on the other hand am the opposite who would rather take over the world and then sell in on eBay bit by bit. Why we are friend is quite beyond me. But today it was different. Laverne was in a foul mood. ‘Don’t look now, but the guy over there was blowing kisses to me and making rude gestures.’ I glanced over and saw an aging 50 year old, waeing white from head to toe with an open V-neck shirt, exposing his greying hairy chest. I could tell me was Greek from the gold cross he was wearing. ‘So you know what I did’ continued Laverne, ‘I did NA!’ she said slapping one had over the other. I glared at him and he looked away, ashamed of his actions. What a grubby old man. But it gets better, moments later his wife arrived, followed by his son who was our age and is a Brat and his daughter who looked like a goth-gone-cheerleading.
And what’s more, they weren’t just Greek. They were American-Greek. Laverne who comes from LA and is well versed in American pop-culture could easy tell me about the lives of these people. And so she began to dissect their characters bit by bit: they’re from New York. But not from the city. Maybe upstate. Maybe Long Island. You can tell their marriage is held together by material objects. I mean just look at the wife’s tan and bleached blonde hair. The son (who was lying on the sofa taking up three seats or so) acts like a brat. The father surely has affairs and…
She stopped because the wife who was chain-smoking got up to get the son another magazine of Maxim because he lost it and was moaning. He’s 24! What?
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