Welcome to the Neighbourhood...

If you remember, a while back I told you I moved to a new apartment in Lycabettus. Well I thought it was about time to welcome you to the neighbourhood. Here are my building buddies (no Monica or Chandler in sight...)

Apt 101 // Bjork

Didn't you hear? She moved to Cyprus. She asked herself 'what's the opposite of Iceland: Cyprus' and so she's moved to Nicosia. I popped round for some sugar and she was glueing bits of paper to the walls and making a dress for her new video that she's going to film at Coffee Beanery. When I asked her why there, she said because FloCafe was already taken by Tamta.

Apt 102 // Gym Junkie
At first I though Apt 102 was a sorority becuase I would see a bunch of women come and go at different times of the night. Then, after about a week I realised that the red, convertible sports car belongs to Gym Junkie. Tall, friendly with arms are big as my thighs, GJ is the man everyone wants to be and all the women want.

Apt 201 // The Rock and Roll Boys

Both twins. Both rockers. Both out of their minds. They are Rock and Roll. That's their names. Rock is eight minutes older than Roll. They hate Bjork because she is to 'quiet' as they say, but go round to her house for some Icelandic ouzo which ice that she specially imports from Iceland. Rock and Roll play in a band and have appeared in New Division and City Plaza where the play tavli for 'inspiration' as they say (lie).

Apt 202 // Vice President

Ms. Hernandez is perhaps the scariest person in Lycabettus. She is the VP of a mutli-billion dollar firm, and her parking space is next to mine - so you can imagine how scared I am. Also she lives right below me and can hear my comings and goings.

Apt 301 // Bossy Boots

She is a dominatrix by day and dominatrix by night who has a degree in philosophy, an MA in psychology and a PhD in Anthropology but decided to become a dominatrix, called Bossy Boots when she realised she could earn more money this way. Clients mostly ential rich and stressed businessman (not me). She is smart, rich, beautiful and in charge. And is my neighbour!

Apt 302 // BabyBusinessMan

If you want to know more... just check out the blog!

The Penthouse // Filthy Rich

The only words for FR are rude ones. But this is a classy blog and so will not appear on the screen, okay bitches! If you were a reader of this blog from the beginning, you will remember that Filthy Rich (who is just that) was married to the Nicosia Housewife. She divorced him when she found him in their bed with her Personal Assistant (he had already slept with his secretary and the nanny) and had moved onto other members of staff. After she kicked him out, he moved into my building in the penthouse which he likes to keep filled with new 'girlfriends' every week. Midlife crisis overload!

And that's it folks. Welcome to my neighbourhood.