I went out last night with Cake and Co (Co being her posse of cool and artsy people with great hair). Of course, I had a long day, had spent time this new girl I am ‘seeing’ and had already dranktwo beers, and some wine. So I was already riding the wave of alcohol when I got to the bar (which I will not name for reason you shall read below).
Of course Cake’s friends are cool and I knew that they’d be cool with my craziness. I’m may be BabyBusinessMan but not after 10pm.
Anyway, I was sitting with them, drinking, laughing and punching Pancake (Cake’s husband to be. I call him Pancake, because he is so easy-going that you can mix him with everyone and everything for all occasions; just like a pancake!) The drinks arrived and the next thing I know I am soaking wet. The whole of my shirt and shorts (casual yet classy) are covered with an alcoholic beverage that I can only assume was a Pancake’s Mojito. Now I assume that if you order a beverage you should drink it not wear it; even if it is a classy and expensive drink. And if you’re going to pour a drink over me, then make sure you get it in my mouth not on my chest.
I was so trashed I kept laughing while Cake and Co just sat there looking at me with mouths open for what seemed like an eternity. The waiter tells me that I can go to the restroom to… listen to this… clear up the mess! The mess that he created on me! So I stand up, the ice that was in the drink and then was on me fell to the ground and everyone was staring. After ‘clearing up’ in the bathroom (how can u clear up if there is no washing machine?) I went back to my seat and listen to this… the waiter comes with the bill. And I paid! I PAID TEN EUROS TO HAVE A DRINK SPILLED OVER ME! And it wasn’t even my drink. Champagne? Yes, I have been dipped in it a couple of times. But a Mojito? Clothed? In Public? First time!
Then, I was freezing, I wanted to take my shirt off and Cake wouldn’t let me. She actually held my clothes down and said that I couldn’t keep undressing everywhere. I was like ‘Cake, if this place is so classy they wouldn’t pour drinks over a customer and I want to show off my six-pack plus I just got waxed and you gotta feel my smooth skin’. Still the woman would not let me.
Now what’s wrong with this scenario?
a) I paid because I didn’t want to make a fuss in case the foreign waiter fired
b) I’m guessing he poured it over me on purpose
c) He didn’t even tell me not to pay
d) I am a Jew. We speak up! I didn’t speak up (due to intoxication and laughter) so that makes me a bad Jew (but a fun one at that)
e) Cake didn’t let me take off my clothes and didn’t care if I caught a cold!
f) Cake told me that this is not London. I know! It’s Nicosia!
g) I was told the mess was mine. It wasn’t. That was rude
So in revenge I trashed the bathrooms. I took ALL the paper towels from the bathroom and took it to the table. That was actually so funny Cake wanted to take a picture. Then I helped myself to a champagne flute and two shot glasses that I assume were part of the ridiculously-priced drinks; that I got to wear!
The thing is though; I don’t need a drink sloshed onto me (clothed). I already have a six-pack on me. The sad thing is; they saw me wearing a Mojito and not my six-pack! I guess it’s their loss.
(Joking aside: the value of an establishment truly does show when the management does not offer the drinks as complimentary after they have spilt them over a patron. I won’t be going back there any time soon. Not because of the mistake, which can happen to anyone, but because it was managed so badly afterwards. And I know this because before I was BabyBusinessMan I was BabyBarMan. I have worked in bars and clubs and I know that a) the service should be excellent and b) customers are always right, even though they rarely are).
Of course Cake’s friends are cool and I knew that they’d be cool with my craziness. I’m may be BabyBusinessMan but not after 10pm.
Anyway, I was sitting with them, drinking, laughing and punching Pancake (Cake’s husband to be. I call him Pancake, because he is so easy-going that you can mix him with everyone and everything for all occasions; just like a pancake!) The drinks arrived and the next thing I know I am soaking wet. The whole of my shirt and shorts (casual yet classy) are covered with an alcoholic beverage that I can only assume was a Pancake’s Mojito. Now I assume that if you order a beverage you should drink it not wear it; even if it is a classy and expensive drink. And if you’re going to pour a drink over me, then make sure you get it in my mouth not on my chest.
I was so trashed I kept laughing while Cake and Co just sat there looking at me with mouths open for what seemed like an eternity. The waiter tells me that I can go to the restroom to… listen to this… clear up the mess! The mess that he created on me! So I stand up, the ice that was in the drink and then was on me fell to the ground and everyone was staring. After ‘clearing up’ in the bathroom (how can u clear up if there is no washing machine?) I went back to my seat and listen to this… the waiter comes with the bill. And I paid! I PAID TEN EUROS TO HAVE A DRINK SPILLED OVER ME! And it wasn’t even my drink. Champagne? Yes, I have been dipped in it a couple of times. But a Mojito? Clothed? In Public? First time!
Then, I was freezing, I wanted to take my shirt off and Cake wouldn’t let me. She actually held my clothes down and said that I couldn’t keep undressing everywhere. I was like ‘Cake, if this place is so classy they wouldn’t pour drinks over a customer and I want to show off my six-pack plus I just got waxed and you gotta feel my smooth skin’. Still the woman would not let me.
Now what’s wrong with this scenario?
a) I paid because I didn’t want to make a fuss in case the foreign waiter fired
b) I’m guessing he poured it over me on purpose
c) He didn’t even tell me not to pay
d) I am a Jew. We speak up! I didn’t speak up (due to intoxication and laughter) so that makes me a bad Jew (but a fun one at that)
e) Cake didn’t let me take off my clothes and didn’t care if I caught a cold!
f) Cake told me that this is not London. I know! It’s Nicosia!
g) I was told the mess was mine. It wasn’t. That was rude
So in revenge I trashed the bathrooms. I took ALL the paper towels from the bathroom and took it to the table. That was actually so funny Cake wanted to take a picture. Then I helped myself to a champagne flute and two shot glasses that I assume were part of the ridiculously-priced drinks; that I got to wear!
The thing is though; I don’t need a drink sloshed onto me (clothed). I already have a six-pack on me. The sad thing is; they saw me wearing a Mojito and not my six-pack! I guess it’s their loss.
(Joking aside: the value of an establishment truly does show when the management does not offer the drinks as complimentary after they have spilt them over a patron. I won’t be going back there any time soon. Not because of the mistake, which can happen to anyone, but because it was managed so badly afterwards. And I know this because before I was BabyBusinessMan I was BabyBarMan. I have worked in bars and clubs and I know that a) the service should be excellent and b) customers are always right, even though they rarely are).
1 comment:
hahaha!! hey remember how i tried to explain to you WHY you couldnt undress in the bar? Because you would catch a cold and then pneumonia..well..it turns out, i didnt have any drinks spilled on me nor did i take my shirt off but I GOT FRIGGIN SICK A WEEK BEFORE MY FRIGGIN WEDDING. the good news is: its not pneumonia. YET. the bad news : I have fever and my throat hurts like hell, a week before my fabulous wedding! YAYyyy
i m telling you! somebody up there really hates me, thats it!Orthodoxy hasnt worked out for me so far! i m becoming a jew, a Jehovas' witness even
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