Friendship-Coutoure

So I’ve been seeing this girl I met in a bar last week. You can’t miss her. She is the bar woman after all. So I invited her to spend some time with me at a pool bar the next day. I didn’t expect her to turn up, but she did, with a friend (who I almost accidentally dated – but that’s another blog story).
It turns out we got on really well and met up again. And again. And again.

But I didn’t want to screw things up as I usually do. Ordinarilly, if I like someone, I want to be with them. It’s just like that. I love you or hate you. There is no like. But as I had such a tough year, dating-wise, I didn’t want to open up my heart – and neither did she.

Now , Although I liked her, I decided to try a new tactic. Not to be so full-on and to appear a lot more relaxed.
‘I like you.’ I began ‘but I don’t want a relationship. Whatever I say to you, wherever I invite you, it’s as a friend. Sure we have sex, but I like spending time with you in this context, rather than in a romantic context.’
And she agreed with me. She nodded her head vigorously, and reiterated what I had just said by saying that he just came out of a relationship and didn’t want anything serious either. And so we decided to chill, and let it flow (can you imagine? Me? BabyBusinessMan who is so used to schedules and deadlines letting it flow? What am I? A rapper now?)

But still… that’s what I decided to do. Just see where it goes. Without an agenda. And you know what; I actually began enjoying myself; just spending time with someone, talking, going to the beach and having sex without trying to turn this into a relationship wasn’t too bad. We could hang out and go clubbing and feeling won’t get in the way. Or will they?

That’s when I got thinking… what if… for example… we are at a club together, as friend, and then he meets someone else, and decided to go home with him. What next? We are friends but we also fuck. It’s the grey zone between friendship and relationship, the undefined blurring of the lines of dating no-man’s line. What happens then? How would I feel, and what do I do about it? So decided to ask my two goo friends, Party-Animal and Eurotrash.

‘There is nothing you can do’ said Party-Animal. ‘As you said BabyBusinessMan, it’s a grey zone. There are no rules.’
‘But doesn’t that mean that because there are no rules, you can do what you want?’
‘Yes, but so can she… which he is what she is doing, if she decides to get with someone in the club. So you’ll have to deal with it. You can’t lay claim on your friendship the way you can on your girlfriend.’
‘But what if it me who invited her to the club? As my date?’
‘But she is not your date, she is your friend. And even if it seems rude that she’ll hook up with someone else, it’s not a relationship, it’s friendship!’
He kind of has a point…

‘No! Not at all!’ said Eurotrash. ‘If you are together in a club and together in bed, you are together, no matter what you call it.’
‘But it’s not called a relationship.’
‘But in a way it is a relationship whether it has the relationship label or not. What is it with you an labels?’
‘It’s more like friendship-couture. Something more than friends but less than friendship.’ I tried to explain.
‘Whatever. If you spend time together socially and sexually you are together despite what label you put on it. Plus, she works in a bar, she must meet guys all the time. Doesn’t that bother you?’
‘Hmmm… not really, if I don’t see it, then did it ever happen?’
‘So it’s only a relationship when you’re together?’ Mel asked.
‘It’s not a relationship’ I stressed.
‘You’re right, it’s friendship- couture.’
I kind of have a point…

But the irony is, I’m meant to be having a good time. Why am I stressing? I should just go with the flow. Right? Sometimes it’s hard being a baby-business-man!

(What do you guys think? Honestly... what's your opinion? If you're my readers, you gotta have an opinion)