How Facebook Has Taken Over

I think people who spend too much time of Facebook pathetic. Now if you know me, you might say, ‘but BabyBusinessMan you have a FB profile and even created one for your cousin’s dog (God Rest his Soul) so what are you talking about? And also you have a blog! Loo-serr!’
True, I do have a Facebook account but I do not spend too much time on it, and I use it to see what everyone else is up to! And yes I did create one for my cousin’s dearly departed dog, because I loved Ziggy so much, and I believe that animals have the same rights as we do. And the blog… well you’re reading it… so if I am a loser then doesn’t that make you worse by reading the loser’s words?

But back to Facebook. I am all for staying in touch, and as I have friends all over the world (my world); Cake who lives across the street, the Nicosia Housewife who lives across the city, Laverne and her manic housemate Napoleon (Dynamite – she goes nuts often) who live in Greece and Crazy who lives in Washington DC. Plus I want to maintain my links with my Jewish friends in Israel. And also I like updating my photo album to show off where I have been; LA, Vegas, Tel Aviv, Athens, the Nicosia Housewife’s banquette (although I crashed that).

Once on Facebook I announced that: BabyBusinessMan is: in love with Hillary. And everyone went nuts. I got whole posts and messages asking why I wasn’t supporting Obama. Because Hillary added me as a friend and Obama didn’t! That’s why!

But what is the point in updating your profile every two minutes? Who cares if you are tired! I don’t! Who cares if you are going to buy some orange juice? Is it that interesting that you’ve Facebook’d it? And people take it so seriously? It’s a social network people! I was ‘married’ to my friend Laverne (the one with the whacky housemate) on FB and people actually started messaging us asking when we got married, if we have kids and why we didn’t invite them to the wedding. So she divorced me! And then, put up her real boyfriend! How rude! At one point, I got so pissed off of people asking me if I got married, that I said yes, we are! So to them we are married and to me they are stupid!

Another one of my ex-friends, added me on Facebook, insulted me for becoming Jewish and then announced her engagement to me via Facebook!!!!!!! And expected me to go to the wedding after she posted all her engagement photos on FB which she didn’t invite me to! I was Facebook-happy for her. Which meant I wrote that: BabyBusinessMan is: Happy 4 u! But in reality I was downing a whiskey!

An ex of mine, who has now deleted me from her contact list, used to compete with my brother Millionaire2B about ‘owning me’ as a pet! Not that the competition was fierce, I was worth only about $14,000 as opposed to my brother’s $100,000. And he used to tease me about it! Anyway, my ex and I didn’t get along, we deleted each other from our lives but to make sure we weren’t dating anyone else, kept each other as ‘friends’ on FB and then deleted each other. Then she added my friend, who was dating another girl, as her ‘pet.’ The scandal! And as silly as this sounds, that actually made the whole break-up harder and a lot more ridiculous.

Another ex-friend literally lives in FB, telling us about himself with useless information such as:
Which deodorant are you: Lynx
Which packet of crisps are you: Salt and Vinegar
Which Desperate Housewife are you: Lynette
Which Sex and the City girl are you: Samantha
Which Friend are you: NOT MINE! (real answer: Joey)

That’s just it, FB has the power to break friendships rather than destroy them and offers you a good opportunity to show which are your top friends (which I love) as well as having a bottom friends list (which I love even more).

I like FB but it has come to rule our lives. People are addicted to it, and so am I, only because I am addicted to people and what they are getting up to.
Janice is: looking for batteries for her…
Peter is: having a Mexican (meal that it)
BabyBusinessMan is: logging out and leaving the building!

But now I can see why people announce that they get married to Facebook. To make a point that they are grown up and through with all this rubbish. But then, why don’t they delete their account?

(Even though I just wrote this, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop using FB to promote my blog... I still love it.)