My Best Friend's Wedding: Part: I DO!

My Best Friend's Wedding: Part: I DO!

Dressing Bridezilla
The wedding began with watching the groom getting ready at around 4pm. Laverne, Smulders and I bundled out of the car and watched Pancake get ready. It was actually very moving because the Mum was really moved and there was a real sense of ‘leaving the house’. It has to be said that Cypriot wedding songs are really beautiful and moving – especially when sung by someone who speaks the Cypriot dialect well (and none of us really do anymore).
After seeing Pancake get ready for the wedding, we made our way over to Bridezilla’s house. Now the group we were with parked in a field which I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want to get dust all over my shoes, so I tried to park on the pavement. Of course in my usual manner I rammed the car up on the pavement so hard that we thought the front tire burst. We just sat there shocked hoping it was okay but of course, because I’m driving the car and because things like this always happen when they shouldn’t, I had a flat tire. So there I stood in my flashy new suit and shoes with no dust on them… and I had a flat tire.
We went inside to see Bridezilla get ready. Cake came down the stairs in her wedding dress (don’t ask me to describe women’s clothes – I’m only interested in clothes when they take them off – not put them on) but I can guarantee to you that it was white. She looked like a loveable yeti getting married. The music started; the violins played; and everyone was in a good mood. Except me who was stressing about the burst tire. So after Cake got ready I went outside with a friend to change the tire – something I never did in my life (along with a frappe – I never made a frappe either).

Flat Tire
So there I stood in my wedding gear changing a tire – with the help of a friend (thank you Mr. D!) and I didn’t even get a smudge of oil or dirt on me. I should write a book ‘How to Change a Tire in an Armani Suit on a Wedding Day and look Good’ by BabyBusinessMan. I mean the whole situation was ridiculous. It was like Milan Fashion Week meets DIY Mechanics. So with the tire changed we made out way to the Church.

Late for Church
Have you heard the song ‘Get Me to the Church on Time?’ well we didn’t. We got lost on the way… and then it took me about 10 minutes to find a parking and 20 minutes to park into it with two people giving me instructions. Two women to be precise… so you can imagine the trauma… So, we arrived at the doors of the Church moments after Bridezilla arrived and thought that people were throwing rice in the air for us. So we managed to make it into the Church just before Cake was about to walk down the aisle. Being in a Church I was going should have prayed for myself to learn the roads of Nicosia better or at least pray to remember to buy a map! But instead I should have confessed because I swore for the first time in a place of worship before the eyes of God. And suddenly the wedding began…

The Wedding
It was beautiful. Cake looked so poised and elegant and there was a warm ambience around the Church. I especially remember seeing Cake’s mother who looked so happy and proud and cried at the same time. I remember as a child weddings seemed to be so boring and take so long. But when it’s your best friend’s wedding it goes rather quickly (especially the party…. But that’s for later). I was so proud of Cake… who would have guessed she would be the one who grew up first? (Well it was obvious really as she was dating Pancake since the time of the dinosaurs – and she hasn’t aged a bit). And I was worried about PanCake… did he know what he was getting into? Actually if anyone could handle Cake it was PanCake. He adds the right ingredients and makes the Cake tasty and sweet!

The Drinks
After the wedding we all stood in line and congratulated them. Laverne, Smulders and I of course were the noisiest – but we couldn’t help ourselves – it was a wedding and we were determined to have a good time. We congratulated the happy couple and posed for a picture. I don’t need to tell you who was the biggest poser… and then like an Olympic race we ran towards the bar… well Laverne and Smulders did and started guzzling back Mimosas and Fruit Punch and Wine. I, for once, was careful not to get drunk as I didn’t want to get a new flat tire. But the other two were slugging back Martinis’s like it was going out of style. So by the time we arrived at dinner around midnight they were slightly merry – but in a good way. Cake and PanCake got married…. And I still looked good.

The Dinner
Cake and PanCake arranged a dinner for all the close friends, family and gate-crashers. The soup was delicious and the guest was great. It has to be the best dinner party I went to. I sat opposite Cake’s good friend FunkyFashionista (who I want to steal from Cake) and was telling me all about her life in Athens! (if you’re reading this – hi FunkyFashionista) and then Cake came and sat next to us and completely surrounded us with her wedding dress which was the size of Switzerland, and the colour of it too! And from the dinner, around 2am we made our way to…

Zoo
Smulders, Mr. D and I went to Zoo after the dinner, which was after the wedding, which was after the dressing ceremony which was… so you can imagine the day we had. Now I wanted them to see Zoo as they were foreign and had to see Cyprus’ main club. Smulders lives in Texas and Mr. D lives in Oslo and they were in Nicosia with me so they had to experience our country’s national zoo. It is really interesting to see you’re country’s pop-culture through other people’s eyes because the first thing Smulders said, while waiting to get into Zoo was ‘this is the quietest crowd ever. I have never seen such a quiet line.’ You can only imagine what happens in Texas! But it’s true; if you were noisy you wouldn’t get in. But we did get in, almost tip-toeing 10 minutes later as we had a reservation. Guys, it was packed. It was insane. You could not move. Then Mr. D the sensible Norwegian asked ‘what happens if there is a fire?’ Now I ask these questions all the time because I am a neurotic but I never say them out loud… Of course we had a good time, and danced with a group of people I knew who were there, but went home at 4am to prepare for the next day, the reason we were all there: for the party!

Next up: My Best Friend’s Wedding: Part: I DO TOO!