My Best Friend's Wedding: Part: I DO TOO!

My Best Friend’s Wedding: Part: I DO TOO!

(READ THE POST BELOW - PART 1- BEFORE YOU READ THIS ONE)

You can imagine the headache I had the next day. I woke up at 11.30am – which means in real people’s terms that I went to bed on Saturday an woke up on Tuesday. A sleep in for me is staying in bed until 8.30am – so I was way over my usual limit. The day went by calmly, we went for brunch at the Acropolis park – my new favourite place in Nicosia – then to the photo exhibition by the World Press and then for coffee before returning home to get ready for the par-tay!

By 8.30 Laverne, who was staying with me, met up with Smulders, Mr. D and others at the party and I was ready to have a good time. Of course, at usual something had to go wrong. Firstly the camera man went around asking people to wish the couple well. Crap! I thought! He’s going to come over to me – which he did. TV people love me – I was interviewed three times; in Madrid, in LA and in Nicosia by different programmes (but this is for another post) and I have found myself accidentally on the news and other programmes more than a handful of times. I am an accidental celebrity! Having been discovered over and over again – but none seems to recognise me. I’m like Madonna, constantly reinventing. Next time you’ll probably see me wearing the conical bras and talking about Kabala.

So the camera guy comes up and asks us to wish us well. Laverne was talking and Smulders’ was watching her and try not to laugh while I was hiding. ‘And they are so beautiful… and we love them… we wish you the best… we wish you also a Merry Christmas… blah blah blah’ basically Laverne was talking all sorts of romantic crap while I was sipping on wine. Then all of a sudden I hear ‘BabyBusinessMan wants to say something too’ and before I knew it I was a national celebrity again with a microphone shoved into my hand and bright lights in my eyes and a camera waiting to hear what to say. I had no idea what to say, I mean the ‘I do’ part more or less sums up the whole day so I said ‘Congrats guys… Laverne… I’m going to kill you’ on camera. And now they will remember me as the alcoholic who wants to punish my friend with a microphone.
Of course it doesn’t stop there.

After Cake and PanCake arrived, everyone claps and they dance and all the yiayiades agree that Cake looked sweet and all the men thought she is tastier than a marzipan mountain they make their round and greet all the guests. Now on the table was a kind of confetti firework tube where you pull a string and confetti shoots up. Well, my good friend Laverne gave it too me upside down, and of course people decided that it is my job to pull the string, which I did and then the confetti went downwards instead of towards them! So everyone hears a bang, but sees no confetti and I was sitting there covered in bits of paper and everyone was laughing! Luckily no camera was there to see me scream at Laverne again…

Throught the night I tried to behave; Cake said that I could staring misbehaving after midnight. So I got talking to some guests from the Czech Republic or Poland.
‘What’s you’re name?’ I asked
‘Wylzzwwyckw’ he said.
‘Is that a traditional Polish name?’
So you see – I was behaving speaking to people whose names I could not pronounce. But Laverne was all over these guests from Syria or Egypt or somewhere who loved weddings but loved Laverne even more. If polygamy was legal they would have probably kidnapped her and married her.

But the party didn’t become a par-tay until most of the guests had left because it was Cake and her closest friends,her family, the gate-crashwe, the Czechs and the Syrians dancing like madman on the dance floor. It was so insane that we were all jumping up and down, everything spilled out of my pockets so over the course of the night people kept coming up to me and giving me bits of my phone, my wallet, my keys…

It was such a good night, we went home at around 4am when the waiters and hotel staff kicked us out!