I met up with Cake and Party-Animal for lunch in between work. Party-Animal had news. Real news. Not about a club or bar. But actual real-life news… called gossip. Last night, in his usual drunkenness, he bumped into SoLovely. Now SoLovely, was just that. One of those traditional, sweet, cute rather than sexy, Cypriot girls, who are smart and attractive. The type you dream of marrying and having a family with, and who you hope will never be corrupted. Well in giggles and fits, she told Party-Animal (who had a crush on her but was too wild to marry such a charming girl) that she was getting married. No surprise there, as she is the yummy mummy type.
The surprise that came to Party-Animal like a bat out of hell (literally) was that she was marrying a man-child called SoSolid. Picture this, a conventional girl called SoLovely, baking cakes, tending to the flowers, hugging puppies and feeding her 17 babies marrying a 25 year old Anglo-Cyprian 'import/export' expert who goes by the name of SoSolid and whose hobbies include rapping, trying to speak Greek and acting all hip-hop.'
The surprise that came to Party-Animal like a bat out of hell (literally) was that she was marrying a man-child called SoSolid. Picture this, a conventional girl called SoLovely, baking cakes, tending to the flowers, hugging puppies and feeding her 17 babies marrying a 25 year old Anglo-Cyprian 'import/export' expert who goes by the name of SoSolid and whose hobbies include rapping, trying to speak Greek and acting all hip-hop.'
'Aiiiii' said SoSolid, as he shook Party-Animal's hand, who had sobered up by now. When you see a dove marrying a crow, you sober up!
'Don’t you think he's just too lovely?' said SoLovely about SoSolid. Party-Animal didn’t think so, but was too scared to otherwise. If he didn’t agree that SoSolid was too lovely, maybe SoSolid would stab him… or worse rap… in bad Greek. To which SoLovely would probably coo even more.
They both took a liking to Party-Animal, although SoLovely would probably take a liking to anyone, even an ex-axe-murderer (hello! She has! She's marrying him! His name is SoSolid) and so Party-Animal was invited to the wedding. ‘And give BabyBusinessMan our regards’ said SoLovely. ‘Yeah tell ‘im we say hi, aiiii’ said SoSolid, never having met me. (Were the regards a form of invitation?).
'What I don’t understand is why I'm not invited' I said upset.'What I don't understand is why she is marrying him.' Party-Animal said. Cake, whose husband is a shrink and thinks she got a psychology by osmosis or by sleeping with him, said that SoLovely didn't want a husband but a child, and SoSolid not only provided her with a husband, and with a child, but with a man-child who acts like a teenager. According to Cake, he wanted to mother him. Where is Freud when you need him?
'Maybe opposites attract' I said stuffing my face with salad. 'True, opposites do attract ,when one is organised, another is messy. When one is thrifty, and the other is frugal. When one is tall and the other is short' said Cake. 'Not when one should be on the in Church and the other should be in prison.'
Cake, despite all her delusions and neuroses made an excellent point. (She also made good cupcakes).
The Band SoSolid sang that they had 21 seconds to go (go where?). No such luck with this SoSolid. It looks like he will around forever. SoLovely will marry him and become Mrs. SoLovely SoSolid! They were the new So Solid crew (and wait until they have babies). Did no one tell her that marrying him, she is actually being SoStupid?
'Don’t you think he's just too lovely?' said SoLovely about SoSolid. Party-Animal didn’t think so, but was too scared to otherwise. If he didn’t agree that SoSolid was too lovely, maybe SoSolid would stab him… or worse rap… in bad Greek. To which SoLovely would probably coo even more.
They both took a liking to Party-Animal, although SoLovely would probably take a liking to anyone, even an ex-axe-murderer (hello! She has! She's marrying him! His name is SoSolid) and so Party-Animal was invited to the wedding. ‘And give BabyBusinessMan our regards’ said SoLovely. ‘Yeah tell ‘im we say hi, aiiii’ said SoSolid, never having met me. (Were the regards a form of invitation?).
'What I don’t understand is why I'm not invited' I said upset.'What I don't understand is why she is marrying him.' Party-Animal said. Cake, whose husband is a shrink and thinks she got a psychology by osmosis or by sleeping with him, said that SoLovely didn't want a husband but a child, and SoSolid not only provided her with a husband, and with a child, but with a man-child who acts like a teenager. According to Cake, he wanted to mother him. Where is Freud when you need him?
'Maybe opposites attract' I said stuffing my face with salad. 'True, opposites do attract ,when one is organised, another is messy. When one is thrifty, and the other is frugal. When one is tall and the other is short' said Cake. 'Not when one should be on the in Church and the other should be in prison.'
Cake, despite all her delusions and neuroses made an excellent point. (She also made good cupcakes).
The Band SoSolid sang that they had 21 seconds to go (go where?). No such luck with this SoSolid. It looks like he will around forever. SoLovely will marry him and become Mrs. SoLovely SoSolid! They were the new So Solid crew (and wait until they have babies). Did no one tell her that marrying him, she is actually being SoStupid?
But the biggest disappointment was not getting invited to the wedding. How does that make me feel? Like SoSilly!
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