The Date, the Nuts and the Rug

So I went on this date with this random who worked at one of the Universities in Nicosia. She seemed really cool until she told me that the date was in her house. What?

Of course, being the adventurer that I am, I took the opportunity to meet her on her sofa.
So we got talking, about the usual: famine, plague and natural disasters. With such an interesting conversation I felt the date was going really well. Until she said:
‘Have a nut.’
‘Thanks’ I said ‘but I don’t need a third.’
She didn’t get it.
‘They’re from the Iranian ambassador’ she went on.
‘Cool.’ I said ‘I made mine myself.’
She still didn’t get it. Maybe all she got was nuts? Anyway… she continued…
‘Yes. They are from the Iranian ambassador. I gave his daughter a scholarship and he gave me some gifts’ she smiled smugly.
‘Wait. You gave a diplomat’s daughter, a free education and all you got was nuts?’
‘Among other things…’
‘Such as?’
‘He gave me Iranian drinks and a small rug.’
‘Well unless the rug flies, I think he got a great deal and you were duped’ I thought that but couldn’t say that. It would have been true/rude.
So instead I asked if it flew. She said she never tried. I wish she did…

The conversation continued (and I was running out of whiskey). She didn’t attempt to refill it. I wanted to, but then again I worried it was from the Iranian ambassador, and because he gave her so little for what she did for his daughter I felt bad drinking it. (A free education doesn’t come cheap, but at the standard price of nuts).
‘Do you see that?’
‘What?’
‘That’ she pointed.
‘The painting of a chain-saw and a cow’s head?’
‘No next to it. The vase! Do you like it?’
‘Sure’ I said never really ever thinking about vases, unless I am going to throw them at someone.
‘It’s German china. From the 19th century.’
‘Cool,’ except that it wasn’t. ‘Was it a gift from another ambassador?’ I asked this time, genuinely interested
‘No, it was a gift from a diplomat.’ She said.
‘Which country?’ I asked. If I didn’t like the country it was a deal-breaker.
‘Chile’ she responded.
Chile: land of Pinochet (evil) and Isabel Allende (phenomenal). It was a tie.

So stayed a little longer then when she wouldn’t fill up my drink, I left. I decided the best time I would give her was time alone to spend with her rug, nuts and German vase. And the gift to myself? Some time away from nutters like her.