Dating Advice: inspired by Party-Animal

Party-Animal called me from the toilets of Babylon, arock bar/pub in Nicosia.
‘I can’t deal with it. I came on this blind date with this chic, for a few drinks. And she WANTS dinner reservations’
‘Say you can’t do it’ I said.
‘I already said yes!’

So Party-Animal had to endure being good for a whole night while he took a random girl out for dinner. (and what type of girl demands dinner from a stranger?)
There is nothing worse than having an elaborate night out planned with a stranger.
Here’s some of my advice, in my 24 and a half years of singledom.

1- Go for drinks first then if you get on go for more drinks at another bar. Then if you get on, get a room.

2- Although you go for drinks, don’t go overboard like I do. You’re date is the person in front of you not the liquid in the glass in front of you. Although more often than not, the drink is often tastier. But that is a good thing, as the tasty drink helps the date seem more interesting.

3- Do not go for dinner on the first or second date. Or third or fourth or 95th. Actually don’t go for dinner until you’re married. That way she won’t be shocked by your table-manners which would have surely deteriorated after what seems like a millennium of singledom.

4- Don’t talk about religion/politics/money/the ex on a first date. But, if you are me then those are the topics you want to know about. If you don’t fit in with my views on the Kyoto Protocol then I won’t be interested in your o-zone layer.

5- Don’t ask silly questions. One artist who asked me what my favourite colour was. Really it’s blue, but I said black because she was wearing all black. Then she went nuts and told me that black isn’t a colour it’s a shade, and we got into a whole fight and the evening ended with her telling me to go eff myself and ran screaming from the bar. I suppose types of colours are off the conversation topic as well.