To Parelthon mou?

Can I quickly say: Anna Vissi's new song - To Parelthon Mou. What do you think? Guys I have to admit, that I am falling in love with it. But it's hilarious. Scottish folk music in a Greek pop song? My friend told me about it and said it was amazing and I was like 'okay whatever'... then in the car on the way back to our Nation's Capital, stuck in traffic, this song, (that I thought was a Scottish dance track) came on. Then I heard Vissi sing. I burst out laughing thinking it was ridiculous. But honestly, it has really grown on me. All I want to now, when I hear it, is put on a kilt, paint my face like Braveheart and jump around singing to it!

Maybe I should get out more... but I can't... I have it on Youtube and I can't stop listening to it!

Annoying Couples and Full-Fat Milk

So right now two things annoy me. People who are in relationships and act like the effing Stepfords and people who are total hypocrites. Allow me to elaborate.

Now I know it may seem like I have been waging a war against people in relationships. This is not against relationships but how people go about demonstrating their love to their boyf/girlf to everyone else! Some couples are great – they function well, they don’t fight in public, they include other people in their conversation and they don’t overtly demonstrate their love for each other in front of an audience. I’d like to keep my dinner down while at the dinner table so I dislike people who over-demonstrate how much they love each other. I like tennis – how would you like it is I came into a room wearing tennis shorts and begin whacking the ball across the room. You wouldn’t appreciate it would you? So why them should I have to observe couples who turn their love for one another into a soap opera? One couple I know, more acquaintances than friends, could make you scream. It is literally ‘we’ and ‘me and my girlfriend’ (note that it’s not ‘my girlfriend and I’) all day long. I know more about his girlfriend than I do about him. And get this – they spend all their free time together. Is this normal? I am not a relationship expert but isn’t that a little extreme? Are you meant to spend every possible minute of the day together when you can? And why should I have to watch your love-life unfolding in front of me? I don’t want to know what you are having a dinner unless you are inviting me. People, it is literally 25 year olds playing family. It is so scary. It’s all we go to dinner, and the ‘in-laws’ are taking us for a drive (????????????????) (they are not married) and we love each other so much, why don’t you feel my heart and see for yourself! I couldn’t take it anymore so once I told him that if he ever mentioned his gf again I would seduce her. He’s not talking to me now… I’ll take that as a good sign.
If you are in a relationship, good for you, I applaud you and I support you. But if you act all schmultzy in front of me and act like you have been married for 40 year then please allow me to puke all over your face.

Number two annoying thing? It’s the kind of people who buy low-fat milk because they want to lose weight (you can see them piling on the pounds) and then for lunch they would have a big fat Greek meal (meat, meat and more meat) and then to top it off have a big chocolate dessert. And if the milk is not low-fat or at least semi-skimmed, Heaven help the person who buys Full Fat! People like me. The anti-full-fat people (who are in fact physically full fat) think that they will loose 100 pounds by not drinking full-fat milk while still gorging themselves on sweets. If they want to loose weight quickly don’t they realise it’s milk they should keep and junk food they should throw out? Perhaps they didn’t realise that. They were too busy digesting.

Someone asked me where I was from...

‘And are you Israeli?’
‘Do I look Israeli?’ I asked incredulously.
‘Yes.’
‘Well… I am a Jew.’ I acquiesced.
‘So you are from Israel then?’
‘Not yet’ I replied. ‘But my heart does belong in Tel Aviv'.
‘Then where are you from?’ he asked again.
‘I’m from the Eurozone’ I said and walked off to go get some cash from the bank.

Palin hates bloggers... and moose... and democrats... (duh!)

Sarah Palin described bloggers who spoke up against her as ‘Those bloggers in their pajamas sittin' in their parents' basements, just writin' garbage’. Dear Ms. Palin, I may have talked about you in my blog and like everyone else described you as a whackjob but I can guarantee to you that I do not sit around in pajamas, I am too busy to sit around and I don’t even own pajamas, my parents do not own a basement and I don’t live with them and I don’t write garbage (well, maybe sometimes – but it seems that you are the one who is upset with it).

No, you are wrong Ms. Palin. I write on the third floor of my apartment block; overlooking the city of Nicosia in very expensive clothes sipping red wine. May I also add that unlike you; I know that Africa is a continent and not a country; although I cannot see Russia from my house like you can, I know a lot more about it; and I think you should consider yourself I incredibly lucky to spend 140,000 dollars on clothes. If fashion doesn’t let you win it, then nothing will. Not even Tokyo fashion week!

Art at the UN

The roof of the UN HQ in Geneva is covered in a phenomenal art piece - see picture aboev. It does look good but it cost 18 million euros. A regualr roof would have cost about... what? Around a million? Now I know every international organisation's HQ building needs a roof - and sure, some could have art work, as above... but I kind of feel that that money could have been used for another cause like building a school in Africa, or perhaps to save a town somewhere. Perhaps the artists could have painted the the painting on the house (pun intended). I don't know - but with the violence in the DR Congo, Zimbabwe, Kosovo, Darfur, Tibet, the West Bank and everywhere else... that money seems a little excessive. Or maybe it's just my opinion and 18 million euros is nothing to the UN as they donate much more to charity and do so much more... you decide... I really can't say... my opinion on this is sketchy at best.

Fascist Furniture

As you probably know by now, I have moved into a new house. Being in a new house means I need furniture. I own nothing more than a bed and a table and have almost forgotten what a sofa feels and looks like. But recently I have come across more and more kitsch Stalin and Mao memorabilia. People are actually painting dictators who killed millions of people on their walls. What is this? Torture deco? All of a sudden evil dictators are all the rage. So much so that people are painting them on their walls. I have never come across a painting of Hitler on a wall… until I moved to Nicosia. I was in a ‘rock club’ with Cake and Pancake when I noticed behind me a big black and white image of Hitler. To say I was offended didn’t even cover it. In the UK, or anywhere else in the world this would have cause an outcry. In Cyprus, I blame the government. How about banning the swastika? I refuse to shop in any places where they sell any Nazi kitsch.

But now it has entered people’s living room; ok; not Hitler unless it’s a white extremist (in this case they entered their heart let so their living room is nothing now). But images of Mao and Stalin? Mao who starved 30 million of his people in his Great Leap Forward? Stalin who sent people to their deaths because of his paranoia that people will try to destroy the state? Stalin got away with it and are not as hated as the USSR was an ally in WWII. And now he can be proud that his face is on cushions and bedspreads. But not on doormats yet.

You know what’s on my wall? Pictures and memories of Israel.

Nazi crap just doesn't make the cut.

Vain? Me?

The other day someday called me a narcissist. Deciding to take this as a compliment rather than an insult I asked for him to expand upon what he meant, because I like it when people tell me how amazing I am even if they are lies; I pretend they are real. Instead of telling me why I looked good he sent me the Wiki link on Narcissus instead. This hardly inflated my ego – which is what I would have liked. But I decided to admit to myself that I can look rather stunning. I’d like to think I am a model; more of a model citizen (not while driving though) rather than a Gucci model, but these are mere details.
I like my style. I dress well and smartly. I don’t wear uber-expensive clothes but somehow I can pull off a particular look. I have been criticised for this, for some reason – I really can’t understand why – it’s not like wear outlandish attire. I think people should applaud personal style which mirrors personality. I knew this guy who tried too much to be original that he wore a bunch of black bracelets on one arm, some kind of leather thing on the other, ripped jeans and had a shaved head. He looked ridiculous. And did not look good. He achieved nothing by looking like a high-class beggar.
My look is me. I wear shirts well and so I wear a lot of them. I can also pull of ties really well and I cannot leave the house without having polished shoes. If eyes are the windows to the souls then shoes indicate the path you will take in life.
Moral of the posting: admit your vanity and have clean shoes.

Conservative? Me?

‘Don’t behave like that’ said my ex when it had to be whipped. ‘I’m conservative’
Of course, the thing I wanted to be whipped was the cream; I was making a cake – and the recipe said whip the cream up. So when I asked her to pass me the whip from my nightstand table she screamed that she was conservative. The relationship deteriorated to rubble less than 12 hours later. Which begs the questions…

Conservative? Me? Oh no. I’m as liberal as they come. The only time anyone should be conservative* is with money. Being financially conservative is the only conservative you should be – especially in these times of recession (thank you bankers). Usually people who are socially conservative (the worst type) are the ones who are afraid of what’s happening with the world beyond their back yard. (I’ll tell you what’s happening – there’s a recession – so worry about your money not that wonderfully kind immigrant family that moved in round the corner). Other than that, people are socially conservative because they are frigid and worry that they won’t be any good in the bedroom. Which is usually the case.

*May I add that along with being socially liberal but financially conservative I am a Conservative Jew. This does not mean that Conservative Jews have a conservative outlook to life (in fact many CJs I know are actually incredibly liberal) but the conservative-element denotes upholding the religious practices. It’s Conservatives to make you a better practicing Jew rather than to frown upon the world because of your own frigidity.

The Names of Areas in Nicosia

Nicosia has the most random area names. Of course there is the centre and the Walled City where you will find a ‘wall’ at the end of Ledra Street.

Athens in Cyprus?: There are areas named after Athens in Nicosia, they are my beloved Acropolis and Lycabettus. So you can imagine my delight when I tell people that I work at the Acropolis. And then they reply; ‘really? Do you? Are you an archaeologist?’ and I’m like ‘No m’am, I’m a BabyBusinessMan’. Not Acropolis Athens – Acropolis, Nicosia!

Milk: Kaimakli is an area in central Nicosia and is named from the Turkish work Kaymak meaning something like the skin of the milk because there were shepherds in the area (there is also a Kaimakli in occupied Nicosia). Kaimakli should be the nicest area in Nicosia as it is in the city but it’s residential. But because of the invasion we completely forgot this area.

Cypriot flowers: Pallouriotissa. You’d think after it’s name Palloura it would be nice but instead it is ghetto central. I used to live there when I first moved to Nicosia. There are no words. Only sounds. And they go something like this: URGH!

Ayoi Omoliyites: our President’s area

Ayia Paraskevi: home of the Cyprus Central Bank. Good thing it’s next to a Church!

Posh wannabes: Aglanztia, a really nice area actually, with the University, Skali area with great views of the city. And which I call Aglankia or Aglankea because I want to sound like a psonara but then everyone laughs and say things like ‘he’s from London…’ They also wanted to change Lastia (pronounced Lacha). Unfortunatrly for the psonares they didn’t so some people like me, who pretend to be high-class say La-tsia (like Lazzio, as in Lazzio Roma).

Spice Girls and Painters: Before you enter out nation’s capital you will find Geri (named after a Spice Girl) and Dali (named after Salvador Dali perhaps? Or maybe Delhi in India?)

Jungle: If Nicosia is the capital of Cyprus then Strovolo is the capital of Nicosia. It is the second largest municipality in Cyprus (the city of Limassol is number one) and is a concrete jungle. It is so big, so crazy, I am scared going there. It’s nuts, it’s just huge. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going when I’m there. But at the same time, Strovolo has the capital’s largest mansions. My friend Milky (blog at links) said that Strovolo was very posh before. Hmmm… really?

Wrong Grammar: Lakatamia, for me this might as well be in Paphos. I have never been there, and is meant to be ‘the new place to live’. I say Ta Lakatamia because it sounds plural, like Ta Ioannina, plus you have Pano Lakatamia and Kato Lakatamia and so it is plural. So Ta Lakatamia is correct.

Forest City: Dasoupoli. I went there, and didn’t find any trees. Only houses

Engomi: I love this area. The old bit that used to be a village is so pretty, how have they not built little shops and cafes there? Engomi is also home of Coffee Beanery, Blinkers and Bennginhams where you can try out Margaritas for €1.71 on Thursdays!

Makedonitissa: is that an area named after a lady from Makedonia in Greece?

Ayios Dometos: only been once and I didn’t know I was in it

Ayios Andreas: as above

Blossom City: Anthoupoli. It sounds nice but I hear it’s rough and is divided by a highway route from its neighbouring area which is…

Archangel: Archangel, which I think is the best name for an area

And of course we can’t forget the Mall of Cyprus!

And of course before I forget; the maddest name: Drakoumel! We must be the only area who has an area named after a character from the Smurfs! Only in CY!

Obama at the White House

With the advent of Obama to the White House I hear many Americans saying that they feel proud to be American again. And I am proud for them. I am also a little proud from me. I’ll tell you why. Since Bush came on the scene and wreaked havoc many Americans, Republican and Democrats alike have shied away from expressing their dislike of their president and at the time toned-down their American-ness (only slightly though – Americans are not ones to be thought of as timid). I even during the times of Bush (but not because of Bush) have always been fond of America. My reason for this is simple; the people. The closest and best friends I made were American. If you surround yourself by one thing, in my case; Americans; then inevitably you adopt their ways. My accent has become if not American then transatlantic; with many strong R’s and statements that sound like questions. But only slightly – people assume I’m some kind of Eurotrash-type person who spends his time between Geneva and New York. Either than or I’m some Middle Eastern who although acts all pious can’t resist the pleasures of the West.

I’m none of these. I just made good American friends, picked up their values (confidence, openness and a penchant for good times) and dropped my English values (overt-politeness) and some Cypriot values (erm… it turns out that I actually didn’t have many to begin with). And so I became default American. Not the ‘God bless America’ type, but more the ‘land of opportunity/ hard work/ get off your ass and do something/ I have something to say’ type, which for me is the real America; unapologetic and creative. So now America will come back in fashion again. To hate America is no longer fashionable. For me it never was because I knew the difference between associating Bush with America. They are two different concepts. People do not see this and often associate the leader of a country with the country, so because Obama won and people like him, America is popular again. People not only don’t hate it now but they want to love it. Correction; they need to love it because wearing an American flag on the t-shirts will be in again. I on the other hand can take the moral high-ground… maybe the ‘I was there first’ high ground; because I always liked America. I just wish I was there to cheer them all on!

Hi... and Sorry

Hello and Sorry I have not been posting

My computer is broken and am in the process of getting a new one (thsi process seems to be taking forever). It is painful not keeping up to day with your lives through your blogs (yes I do read them even if I don't comment). And it is just as bad that I can't update mine. But I found a free computer and a spare moment I had tucked away and decide to post some bloggings!

So... I hope you enjoy... coming back to the virtual world soon!

BBM

Short Stories: Mario

One night at a bar I got talking to my friend Mario’s friend Mario. He used to work for a large foreign company in Limassol but now is unemployed.‘But why?’ I asked. ‘Because the company I worked for’ he explained has made an agreement with the other big two companies in Limassol, never to hire any of each other’s staff. So if I wanted to go to their rival company I can’t as they don’t hire their rivals staff.’‘But why?’ I asked again. ‘Because you can give information or be a spy. It’s like when you change girlfriends. Won’t you talk about your ex to your new girlfriend?’‘I don’t know’ I began ‘generally, we don’t talk much. And when I do, it’s either in a foreign language or on msn. Or it never lasts. I’m better with technology.’‘Is that what your ex said when she dumped you?’ asked my friend’s Mario friend Mario.‘I’m not surprised no one is hiring you’ I said ‘with an agreement or without’.‘It’s okay. I’m moving to Switzerland’ he went on.‘Well that’s all the Swiss need. Another banker wanker!’

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BabyBusiness Tips

The difference between businessmen and other people; is that businessmen actually believe the world revolves around them. And if it doesn’t revolve around them, then they make it revolve around them.

Elections in 2 days

It is 10.27pm, 1 November, as I am writing this and it has just occured to me, after months of following the campaign, or should I say The Campaign (as there really is only one true campaign) that on Monday, America goes to the polls to vote for a new President. I am actually more excited for American voting than I was voting for our Presidents (which I took very seriously indeed).

However, finally two days before election day I am fully behind his campaign wagon (as I mentioned, I do not take voting lightly) and although Hillary is still the best candidate, Obama has to win. Now I fully support him. Another Republican in the White House... don't get me started. And the best thing is, two more days left of Bush. Wow... what a long eight years its been!

I really think Obama can do. Maybe it's time for Change?