BabyBarMan? Maybe?

So I went clubbing the other day. And behaved like a maniac as usual. The while drunk I thought about applying for a job as a barman while I forgot that I was BabyBusinessMan. Although before that, I actually was BabyBarMan. So I went up to the manager to convince him to give me a job that would match my current salary. He said ‘that much?’ I didn’t know if he was being rude about my salary or admirable about it. Then I thought I got the job, although I was wearing a sombrero because it was Mexican themed night. And I looked ridiculous. So of course I didn’t
Then I went to Mya Aljazeera and told him that I asked for a job. And she told me:
‘When you apply for a job here, he takes you out to dinner and asks about your life. And if it was good he’ll hire you.’
Firstly, how does Mya know about such things? And second, tell him about my life, and hope I would get hired?

If I went to a job interview and told them about my life they’d probably sue me for indecency. And all I would have done was talk! I mean what are you going to say to such an interviewer? ‘I’m a Leo. My middle name is…’ who cares? Apparently he does. But what do you edit?
To m friends, I am interesting because I’m nutty and rude and fun and know about my life. To colleagues I’m bossy and shrewd and professional. Never interesting. Because they don’t know about my life outside the office. And let’s face it, offices are hardly breeding grounds for mayhem.
So how does he hire the staff for the club? And what do they say? I guess it goes along the lines of: I’m a model for Calvin Klein. I was in Emmanuelle 3. I used to be a lifeguard. I can tie my shoelaces with my tongue. I can rap in French, etc.
And what would I say: I can talk about stocks and finances. ‘Anything else?’ he’d ask. I’d say ‘yes, it all happened in Vegas. But you know the law. What happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas so, sorry, no can do…’
And that’ll be the end of that!

The only upside is that if he doesn’t hire you, you got a free meal. Assuming that he’s paying. If not, then you’re unemployed and owing the restaurant €150! And that’s just mean