Fashion Show by the Nicosia Housewife

So Cake invited me to a fashion-show that her neighbour Nicosia Housewife (who lived in Engomi) was organising. Apparently, Nicosia fashion-shows are the best way to see who is who and who is not wearing the right stuff!

Of course, although I looked good, I was dressed inappropriately. By that I mean that, I wasn’t wearing black or Gucci or sunglasses indoors. I was wearing a sexy checked shirt, blue jeans and snazzy silver trainers. I’m surprised people didn’t faint when I wasn’t wearing couture. So what? I was wearing couture jeans!

Other than my clothes that were designed by Tommy Hilfiger (and Marks and Spencer’s underwear) the clothes for this fashion show were designed by Femme Fatale, a 40-something, who was Nicosia Housewife’s best friend and recently divorced her husband called Filthy Rich. You see Filthy Rich was just that; filthy (he was caught by the maid sleeping with… I can’t say just yet) and Rich because he is… actually was. Nicosia Housewife took half of what he made and then some and then started dating Alpha Model.

Alpha Model is a 26 years old, from Athens who came to Cyprus to make it (but if you leave Athens to make it in Cyprus, you know that the only place you are going to make it is with the over 40’s crowd of Nicosia Housewife) but only made it into her clutches and then her bed to which Alpha Model is probably chained to at night so he won’t escape.

Anyway, so we saw Alpha Model walk on and off in his red underwear (only someone as deranged by FF could design such an abomination). Other models, male and female came and went and the show was hailed as a success (because they were all doped by with champagne and cocaine). By the end of the show, we all stood around eating finger food.
I was standing next to Cake who was scoffing down caviar.

‘Damn! I’m so hungry’ she yelled as she jammed her mouth with the food. Nicosia Housewife approached and gave her a filthy look but too embarrassed not so say anything she asked ‘so how did you enjoy the show?’
‘Yuuuuh, mmmm, it wooooosssh goood’ said Cake eating like peasant and trying to speak at the same time. Nicosia Housewife was shocked; even I was… now I know how everyone felt when they saw me walk in with blue jeans and trainers (correction, couture jeans!)