Sophia Loren Wannabe

I went on a date the other day. I wanted to pull my hair out!

She was Italian and apparently thought that she was Sophia Loren (but at the age of 26 rather than 60-something). It didn’t go well. She thought I was too raunchy. I thought she was a Sophia Lauren-wannabe. We didn’t get along. It wasn’t a match made in heaven.

I was a gentleman though. I did the ordering of the wine thing, to which she responded that she hated Cypriot wine. I told her that she had been trying the wrong types, and that this was a good bottle. She then banged on for about half an hour about the merits of Italian wine. If I remember correctly, when I lived in Italy I bought wine there for a euro! €1! Solo un euro! You can guess where the wine ended up after a couple of bottles!*

Being the gentleman that I was, I kept her glass filled. It showed attentiveness and class… not an attempt to get her drunk. My intentions were honourable as I couldn’t stand being with her! Then she said in her faux euro-chic accent, ‘you know, you should only fill up the glass when it is empty.’

‘Listen Ralph Lauren’ I said confusing the name with Sophia Loren ‘it’s been a long day… SO I’M GOING TO FILL UP MY DAMN GLASS!’

I guess it takes two types of people in this world; those who view a glass as full (as they keep filling it), and those who view it as full, until it’s empty. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds poignant, don’t you think? Email me with your thought won’t you?

As for Sophia Loren. Well… she is still searching for that elusively tasty wine from Cyprus. Hope she hasn’t become an alcoholic trying them all…

*On the pavement, in the toilet. My housemate actually fell asleep by the fridge after he drank it. Not good!