Because Ronaldo Says So...

Whereas in the UK sport is class-associated, in Cyprus sport is politically-orientated. This is a current phenomenon that sucks the pleasure out of sport; divides rather than unites, thus creating more problems and (wrongly) states that if you support team X you must support political party X, rather than Y.

You can imagine the complications and frustrations this arouses.
I am a football fan. I am not saying which team I support but I will say that my attitude towards sport is free of my passions for politics. This is because a) my political opinion is fluid (as I constantly re-evaluate our nation’s political process and my political beliefs), whereas my loyalty to my team is not fluid; and b) sport never was ever linked to politics so why now?

I was shocked to discover that during out Presidential elections of 2008, several teams conducted a press conference stating which candidate they support. Why? For what reason? What would that have achieved? In a way it was a selling of votes. Yes, we all more or less follow our parent’s political inclinations (not me) but now, as football teams advertise, literally as well as figuratively, who they are supporting, thousands of half-brain dead football hooligans will go out and vote for that specific political party. Because Ronaldo says so!

Don’t you just love democracy?

It amazes me how we now come to identify our political beliefs with that of the football team we support; it’s like an outfit where all colours must match (but do not necessarily have to). People do not realise that with politics and sport, you do not need to wear the same colours all the time. You need to mix and match, and not follow the rules, except the off-side rule which no-one understands.

Can you imagine if the same thing happened with fashion?
‘Well I wear Gucci, so I support the conservatives.’
‘What? F. U! I only buy Juicy Couture because I’m a liberal!’ It would be complete mayhem. At least the fights would involve (fake) fur rather than fists.

(But one question remains: if fashion follows politics? Does that mean Oxfam is communism?)

Star Spotting in Nicosia... and LA

Living in Nicosia means that I get to see all these famous people. Well, famous in Cyprus that is, which really isn’t that famous. On my second night here a journalist was sitting next to me at the bar. And, being a complete nerd I was starstruck! I also saw some politicians and Greek actors. But eventually, it no longer excites you. Actually I really annoys you seeing famous people around as they act all high and mighty and piss me off. Although it is interesting to see what they look like in real life.

But it’s nothing like LA. Nothing could have prepared me for LA. There I bumped into Iggy Pop as my friends and I were leaving a restaurant in Westwood which sold Hebrew National. And then we saw Angelina Jolie walking a St. Bernard or Husky. I remember what type of dog it was. And my friends aren’t that sure that I saw either celebrity. Actually they think I am making it up as there was no press or bodyguards around them… but what do they know? They’re from the OC not from LA. Big difference. Believe me. I know. I was there!

But will tell you a truth. My other friend and I were clubbing and we met a pornstar. I can’t say which one, but we did. For real. I promise. Here’s a clue, she had blonde peroxide hair, big fake boobs and wore tonnes, I mean tonnes of foundation and make up. Now can you guess…?

Millionaire2B vs. BabyBusinessMan

When I was a kid, all I wanted was a twin. I imagined it would be so cool, to have two of me. Imagine the pranks we could play, imagine the fun we’d have and the compliments. Except that I didn’t have a sibling, until I was almost six. Not that I am complaining. In the end it turned out that my brother was Mini-Me and I was Dr. Evil (according to me parent’s anyway).

But now, ironically, my brother and I look alike. Not that I think so. I think we are chalk and cheese, but generally people not only think we are twins, but that we are in fact the same person. I was in a bar when this girl approached me. Which hardly ever happens, usually I approach them! ‘I saw you on Makarios avenue,’ she said. ‘You did? When?’ I said flattered that someone finally noticed how hot I am. ‘On Tuesday’ she replied. ‘Are you sure it was Tuesday? I never go on the Avenue on a Tuesday. I was there on Wednesday.’ ‘Definitely Tuesday’ she insisted. ‘Wait, Makarios Avenue Limassol or Makarios Avenue Nicosia?’ ‘Limassol’ she replied. ‘That was my brother. His name is Millionaire2B. I’m BabyBusinessMan’ I responded. She seemed disheartened. I felt upset. Was I not so hot? And what was so special about Millionaire2B. It’s not like he won the lottery and became a millionaire.

This happened a few times. People mistaking me for Millionaire2B. But then there was a ray of light! I was talking to another girl which said that I went to return a shirt I bought from a shop she ran, that I never heard of… called Louis Cruises, or what it Vuitton? Anyway… I never return things because a) I usually order from Amazon or eBay or b) if I buy, I can never be bothered to exchange thing. Oh the hassle! And although this shop was expensive and posh, as is Millionaire2B, I like to think I have better taste. I mean, the vintage outfits I used to find in Oxfam… amazing! And H&M is an fashion understatement!

Google Yourself

Cake sent me this email at work:
***I just googled myself and there is absolutely nothing on me… so depressing. I have made no difference in this world even my bloody gorgeous chiropractor has google results.***

So then I googled myself, hoping I made it onto the BabyBusinessMen Rich List. I wasn’t on the list. Because there wasn’t such a list. (If I was where would I chart at?) Plus my balance of €285.36 wouldn’t really qualify, would it? Could it?

However, the google results were interesting. I had come up as a captain and someone who works in biomedical research (sexy!) and some other people that I won't discuss now… but the most interesting result was when I google’d image’d myself. Guess what… I came up as a ship! A tanker to be specific!

It could have been worse/funnier; Cake came up as… well… a cake. And one of my other friends came up as a dog. I won’t tell you her name though!

Sophia Loren Wannabe

I went on a date the other day. I wanted to pull my hair out!

She was Italian and apparently thought that she was Sophia Loren (but at the age of 26 rather than 60-something). It didn’t go well. She thought I was too raunchy. I thought she was a Sophia Lauren-wannabe. We didn’t get along. It wasn’t a match made in heaven.

I was a gentleman though. I did the ordering of the wine thing, to which she responded that she hated Cypriot wine. I told her that she had been trying the wrong types, and that this was a good bottle. She then banged on for about half an hour about the merits of Italian wine. If I remember correctly, when I lived in Italy I bought wine there for a euro! €1! Solo un euro! You can guess where the wine ended up after a couple of bottles!*

Being the gentleman that I was, I kept her glass filled. It showed attentiveness and class… not an attempt to get her drunk. My intentions were honourable as I couldn’t stand being with her! Then she said in her faux euro-chic accent, ‘you know, you should only fill up the glass when it is empty.’

‘Listen Ralph Lauren’ I said confusing the name with Sophia Loren ‘it’s been a long day… SO I’M GOING TO FILL UP MY DAMN GLASS!’

I guess it takes two types of people in this world; those who view a glass as full (as they keep filling it), and those who view it as full, until it’s empty. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds poignant, don’t you think? Email me with your thought won’t you?

As for Sophia Loren. Well… she is still searching for that elusively tasty wine from Cyprus. Hope she hasn’t become an alcoholic trying them all…

*On the pavement, in the toilet. My housemate actually fell asleep by the fridge after he drank it. Not good!

Cravings at Work

I totally got cravings at work today, partly because all I had for lunch was a frappe and all I had for breakfast was a cigarette. So around 3.30 I got crazy cravings, like a pregnant woman. So I had a grapefruit juice and the cheese pie. I didn’t get no satisfaction. So I went and bought €12.59 worth of chocolate, liquorice and M&Ms. And I still wasn’t satisfied. Now I know how the Rolling Stones felt.

Then I started daydreaming about what to eat at home, when I remembered that I had nothing in the fridge and would get take-away. Who can be bothered to park the car, walk to the deli or whatever it was you got food from (supermarket?) and get back in the car? Then again who can be bothered to cook? Especially for me, who is neurotic, never puts on weight, treats eating like a chore and would much rather than a glass of wine and ciggy over a five course meal. My poor Mum, how she despairs when I prefer a Mars Bar or vodka to her cooking. Plus, my fantasy of a chilled glass of dry white wine quickly dissipated when I remember that I had to clean up the two cockroaches I killed this morning. Maybe I can have them for dinner?

Except I can’t… I only eat Kosher.

Gossiping on Yahoo

Why is it whenever I log onto the internet to do some research at work, I always get sidetracked by useless information.

Today I needed to do some research on some shareholders of a particular company. Eager to get on with it, I somehow fell prey to the glitzy but unnecessary ‘news bulletins’ on yahoo. Today I was attracted to an article on ‘the world’s most expensive home’ and the ‘world’s first billion-dollar home.’

Who could resist not wanting to read an article that made ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ look like ‘Prison Break’?

And although I was fascinated to read about this grandiose cottage in Mumbai, India, I realised that my addiction to pointless news and gossip had spiralled out of control. Instead of concentrating on stocks and shares, I was thinking about who lives where. But that's not all. I have completely gone overboard with the amount of pointless articles I read on the net...

Here is a sample of some of the articles that have captivated me:
· Why America hates Jessica Simpson
· 10 signs that your spouse is cheating on you (and I’m single at the moment!)
· P. Diddy and Gucci
· Photos from Mars
· Paula Abdul and her dog on Total Request Live (we don’t even get that show here!)
· Something about an iPhone… or Wii...
· The Red Socks (and even after I read the article I still don’t know whether they are baseball or American football team)
· What Silvio Berlusconi has got up to now (at least this has a political flavour; except it turned out that he prefers good-looking women to ugly women. Who’d have guessed?)

All this while dreaming of becoming the CEO of a major company.
At least I am CEO of my own blog.

Below is the link for the Billion-dollar-home article.
In the end I didn’t read it. I got distracted by an article about Britney Spears eating at Nobu. And then about what sunglasses are in for the summer. And then about what sunglasses Britney is wearing this summer… it’s a slippery slope…

http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/104984/Inside-the-World