The Anglo-Cyprian

I’ve been seeing this one random girl, and I don’t know why. She is Anglo-Cyprian, lives in Aradipou (also known as trash-ville) and gets on my nerves and yet I can’t seem to want to dump her. I don’t even like her and yet, I keep seeing her. I think it’s because I’m bored, I’m feeling mean and edgy and want to act like a maniac. Also the things she comes out with, the things she says and does, keeps me mesmerised.

For example, she told me she used to run a club in London but at the same time, she has no clue about any of the bars and clubs in Cyprus. If you worked in a certain industry wouldn’t you know about it? Well no... not her. She is now a property developer. Why does it seem that there are property developers everywhere? And why has it become the fall-back profession? It seems that any random can become a property developers. Even two of my exes and a f-ck-buddy of mine are now property developers. And now this chick is.

So now Ms. Anglo-Cyprian is an ex-bar owner, property developer, in Aradipou is annoying me and I think I like it! Firstly she tries to impress me with all the drugs she’s done. Although I don’t agree with drugs, if you do it keep it to yourself and don’t brag about it.

Then she tells me all about her villa… and all the things she has done by the pool. It’s not gardening that’s for sure! And then she tells me all about her villa, how many rooms, bathrooms and even taps she has in it as if she were selling it to me.

She will then tell me all about her night out, ‘we went out, went nuts, got home at 8am and it was hilarious, and it was great… yadda yadda yadda…’ but the moment I tell her about my night, she shuts up and gets jealous as if I told her about a plan I had for robbing a bank that she disapproved of but also wanted the money I stole.

And then, she constantly has friends over from the UK. ‘Yeah… Stacie and Haley are coming from London innit?’ Really? Are they? Do I care? And so she is using her friends in London to impress me. It doesn’t! And what does that say about her? That she can’t make friends in Cyprus… in Aradipou, which shouldn’t be too hard as Aradipou is Little London.
Anyway, she just text me asking if I want to go to Ammos with her. On a Sunday night. From Nicosia when tomorrow is a work day. If I said yes I wouldn’t be BabyBusinessMan now would I?

Gossip from Da Brat!

Every Sunday I enjoy going to Starbucks and drinking a cool coffee. I like it there because, early in the morning, no one knows me, no one sees me, I’m dressed like a peasant and I read book in peace and quiet. Except this Sunday, where I went late. And this time, a boy I know who we’ll call Da Brat was there with a friend. At first I pretended not to see them, not because I didn’t want to say hello (actually I didn’t) but because I was worried they’d ask me to join them, and I wanted to enjoy my book. However after a while, I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.

- Da Brat: Who sings that song? The ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’ one?
- Friend: I don’t know. But I can’t get any satisfaction anyway.
- Da Brat: True. Last night I came home, opened the fridge and ate a whole _____ but I wish I was eating a _____ instead.
- Friend: Well why don’t you ask your girlfriend. I’m sure she won’t mind _____ in the kitchen.
- Da Brat: She doesn’t cook or _____ clean. Instead she _____ in the bathroom all day long with a _____ and the soap.
- Friend: Really? I thought she _____ with non-bio cleaning products.
- Da Brat: Haha! You’re funny. No she got it online. Look over there, it’s this guy I know called BabyBusinessMan. He is such a _____. Once I heard he _____ in the bathroom of a club and then had three tequila shots. But afterwards he _____ all over the bar and took his _____ off.
- Friend: Which one is he?
- Da Brat: The tall guy. With a book.

At this point I went over to him, to stop him talking about me and to say hello as I wanted to leave.
- Da Brat: Oh, hey, hello BabyBusinessMan. How are you?
- Me: Fine.
- Da Brat: What have you been up to?
- Me: Well I went out last night, to a club called _____ and I met Jessica there, you know the girl who goes to _____ with Maddox and Antonio. They live in the masion on a hill. Their father had an affair with that lady who had _____ in LA and her plastic surgeon said she looked like a _____.
- Da Brat: Yes. I remember she went out with Panico after his dog _____ all over Maddox’s _____ while she was _____ in rehab for _____.
- Me: That’s right. Well I _____ with this girl called Sophie who says she can _____ with her tongue on _____ and can spread her _____ over her _____. So it was a good night!

They say the Revolution will come from Mykonos

My friend TrustFundista was coming from Mykonos (because apparently life there is too stressful) to stay with me with for a long weekend. Trustfundista recently becoming a vegetarian (and a Buddhist too) and so she obviously became fussier with her food. (Once she turned alobster away at the Hotel Grande Bretagne in Athens because it wasn't'red enough!'). And so, emailed her to see if she had any dietaryrequirements, as I assumed she would. I never expected the belowresponse.

____________________________

Hi BabyBusinessMan, I hope you are well. I was going to send you some theatre tickets for ashow or something here in Athens, and then I remembered you don't haveyour own private jet... and so of course you wouldn't be able to come,and therefore did not send them off to you... Oh well... when you getyour jet.

As for dietary requirements...

1) I only eat organic and fair trade vegetables

2) I only drink Perrier

3) Also I require caviar at every meal as well as some ginger to cleansemy palette between bitesI think that is it for now...if i think of anything else i will let youknow...oh yes

4) Most importantly I only eat chocolate imported from the finest cocoabeans of rural Columbia...

5) As far as Gucci, my new dog, he is also a vegetarian and does not eatfish... However, he is really not picky and is quite agreeable to eatmost things...

Ok, see you soon. And please make sure that my room is scented with rose and candles for when I arrive. Hugs

Haute vs. Juicy

The joy of being in Cyprus is to see Limassol and Nicosia futilely battle it out to be the nation’s number one. Technically Nicosia wins by default as it is the capital city, and the capital city gain instant status. What the government didn’t bank on, when having Nicosia as the capital is the fact that living in the capital city can often feel like capital punishment. Its clogged streets, the pollution, the lack of parks/water features/sea/dustbins/venues of entertainment (other than cafes) leaves many capital city dwellers like me begging for an escape. Enter Limassol.

Limassol has the laissez-faire attitude for a city, where almost anything goes. In Limassol, being seen entering and leaving a strip joint (whether you’re working there or just visiting) carries the same merit as being seen in cafes in Nicosia. And that is where the main difference lies; in how the two cities decide to express their socio-economic situation. In Nicosia women wear haute couture, in Limassol they juicy couture.

Tracey and Emma: Gossiping in Pafos

· So I went to visit a friend in Pafos and I overheard a conversation between two English girls called Tracey and Emma. This is what they said. I can't believe it!

· Tracey: You’ll never guess what.
· Emma: What?
· Tracey: I saw Darren with Naomi in _____ and they were _____.
· Emma: Really? Was he_____?
· Tracey: Yeah! The whole time! And he even _____ all over her face!
· Emma: No! I don’t believe you. Coz Trish. You know Trish yeah? The girl with the funky _____. Well, she told me that Darren once _____ with Fiona on holiday in Crete. Well, he ______ with her Mum!
· Tracey: Don’t believe everything you hear! You know what Fiona is like. She like to _____ during the weekends and even _____ with Greg, Matthew and James!
· Emma: No. With James as well? I heard James was _____ and Katie found him in the _____ with Patrick and they both _____.
· Tracey: Really? I thought that was a rumour. Coz Fiona said that Naomi and Patrick were _____ while doing body shots in front of his dad and then _____ with his dad while _____ on holiday in Crete. Look got to go, tell you all about _____, next week ok?
· Emma: Sure. And don’t forget to _____ with Jason when you _____ and wear the short skirt coz it make you look _____ and _____. You know he will like that!

Nicosia Sunset

Shopping in Nicosia