I spoke to my friend on the phone the other day. ‘You sound tired’ I said.
‘I am; it’s Thursday’ he replied.
‘What happens on Thursday?’ I asked him, imagining that the company he works for makes them do their work standing on their heads or type with their toes rather than their fingers.‘We stay late on Thursdays’ he said.

Oh course! That explains it. He’s a government worker. No wonder he’s tried, anything past three o’clock has them falling apart – so Thursdays for them, when they finish at 5 or 6pm (normal home time for the rest of the world) is like running the Marathon backwards dressed as a chicken.

I hate to say this, but my dislike for government workers has only grown since I moved to Nicosia. Government workers have to be laziest people on the island (I’d say on the Earth, but I reserve that for ex-Eastern bloc gold diggers). They do the bare minimum, work basic hours and make about as much money as Britney on tour. If only the services they offered were just as good as Britney’s*.

But what’s more is that they seem to be tired all the time. They finish work, return home, have a nap, eat, go for coffee, go home, eat and sleep. What a wonderful (pointless?) existence. Then they’d call me up at 6pm, and invite me to go meet them for a coffee. When I say that I’m stuck in traffic on the way home, and I have to cook, clean and finish off a project they call me a party-pooper! Well if I worked 3.5 hours a day for €4.000 of course I’d be up for going out all the time. Although believe me, the don’t make for good part-people. Because we all know that the harder you work the harder you play – and government workers barely have put together eight hours of work in their life. So the conclusion is; not good party-people! Sorry guys!

And that’s what drives me insane about these people – the young ones of course. The ones with families are right to work the fewest hours they can to spend with their children, but the fewer hours they work, the fewer cash they should get. But the younger ones, without kids and an over-bearing mother-in-law, who work until three do nothing. It’s as it they stop functioning when they go home and merely exist. Then when I’m busy they call me a party-pooper. The irony is that I go out more then they do. I return home at 6, eat, do sports and then go out around 10. I’m in bed by 12.20am and ready to get up at 6.30 the next morning. Oh dear dearest government workers… you have so much to learn! Too bad you’re too tired to do so!

*To be fair – I have met some government workers and they are excellent and helpful and their job – and for these guys, I am grateful and thankful that they are dedicated their work, take it seriously and do justice for their country. They work so hard they make up for the work of the other. I think they should take a day off! And I hope they do something useful with it.