It can’t always be your looks. Initially they are, but as someone gets to know you better they either ditch you in the gutter or lift you up to a pedestal.
But why? What do you offer that makes them like you / want you / and stick with you. In Cyprus, it’s money for women, and hot women for men.
For men like Filthy Rich it’s young peroxide-blondes who used to work as his ex-wife’s PA. For the Nicosia Housewife it would be dumb-uncomplicated male models. For neurotics like Cake, it’s having a shrink for a husband (that would be my ideal too).
For guys like Party-Animal it would be women who can take five shots of tequila, and then recite the (Hebrew) alphabet backwards. Actually I like that as well. For Party-Pooper, it would be a librarian with a stamp collection. For my brother Millionaire2B it would be an heiress. Maybe Paris Hilton, a brain. Minus the pink.
But have you ever questioned what makes them like us? I used to think that what made me attractive to others was my organisational skills. But that would only turn on Hillary Clinton. And she is already taken. Hmmm… maybe it is my forthright and direct attitude. But only Grace Mugabe would like that – and she is married too. The dating pool is dwindling right before me. I have a great personality… or actually personalities. Not many people can deal with 14 different versions of me. On a date, I only reveal about three of them. Maybe four. (Nice-me, funny-me, smart-me, and fun-me). By the time you reach Me no. 2 they are already fearful for their life and questioning my sanity (and they haven’t even met crazy-me yet).
When I realised that the ‘me’s’ just weren’t enough (14 personalities and you’re still not happy?) then maybe I needed to work on other things. Money. Apparently does not impress people that much if you don’t own a jet. Body? That will only last until a certain age. Brains. But no-one can handle my comments on the Middle-East and if they do they either lose the debate or end up screaming at me in a bar (it has happened but that is another stroy for this blog).
I really am running out of options. I need to meditate upon this an get back to you. How about yoga? I’ve been doing it for 5 years on and off… I can get into all sorts of positions. Maybe I should show them sometime.
‘And this is a sun salutation’ I could say in the middle of our date at a coffee shop. ‘Note that you breathe through your nose....’ Let me get you in a downward-dog position!
But the only good positions are meant to be used after the date. However, the only positions I seem to get into these days are the difficult ones. The ones I can’t get out of. Like explaining to the manager or the coffee shop why I was doing yoga in his establishment.
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