So after I pimped my ride but pumping air into the wheels and buying a lock for it I began to ride my brand-spanking new second-hand bike across town. I did look rather cool. It has to be said. Now, where I am from, Cyprus, the most materialistic place on the planet, men often go out of their way for an expensive car. It is not uncommon to see someone of 25 years of age driving a BMW (thanks daddy) or 36 year old men who still live at home but drive Ferraris or men who would sell their mother for a Hummer (check out mother4hummer.com). This is all in a vain attempt to show other men who is better and more successful and to get women into bed. It’s the typical ‘I got something that you don’t have’ attitude. I on the other hand do not have this attitude. As long as my car is economical and goes I am happy… so no pimped rides for me. Until that is, I got my bike.
All of a sudden I was struck down with a jealous and frenzied streak. Why the H should he had a fluorescent green saddle whereas mine is black? Oooh, look at that man with the basket – where did I get it from? Gah! She has a German flag attached to her bike… I want one too! I was seized with an uncontrollable urge to bike-accessorize. Can you even begin to understand what that feels like? I was almost in hysterics and went straight to Sport Arena for some fluorescent gear for the bike… anything would do right now… I even wanted a buggy for the baby that is attached to the back of a bike for only €478.95 (bargain!) (though there are no babies in the history of my romantic life) … but I would have needed a baby to use that properly… and I’m just too busy to get one of those right now… after all I had to focus on accessorizing my bike… I can’t be seen riding around FFM with a sub-standard bike, right?
PS don’t tell anyone it is second-hand. We want those bankers to see I pimp my ride!
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