Secret Appetites

As I’m slim, people assume I don’t eat or am anorexic. Truth is that I don’t like eating much in front of people. It’s my thing. I’ve just always found it too... personal and I only enjoy food when am with good friends rather than alongside strangers (who I often find have the strangest eating habits). The upside is that people think I have pristine table manners as I bring the fork to my mouth about three times during the whole dinner. Truth is I inhale food like an alcoholic guzzles booze. But it’s what we do in private that reveals who we truly are. In which case I have an endless appetite and am constantly hungry, although most assume I give my food away to the next person.

But like everyone else, I have habits. And when it comes to food I am particularly fussy. I have been kosher for over 2 years and only eat three type of meats; beef, chicken and turkey and two types of fish; salmon and tuna. Yet, my eating habits are strange. Before bed I always make a hot chocolate (winter) or milkshake (summer) and eat Pringles in bed. I can never be without any Pringles in the house. It’s like running out of toilet paper! Only more important, as there is always… well… the newspaper!

I never eat spicy foods (refer to above section where loo roll is not priority – that’s why!); pepper is spice to me and will avoid even a sprinkling of it – I doubt I even have some at home. I can eat honey and yogurt by the truckload, as I can with salads although I will never touch onion in the off chance that I kiss someone that afternoon.

But my worst habit is not cooking. And its not that I can’t cook, it’s that I can’t work up the interest of learning to cook. I’d rather clean. Although as I am writing this now, I am starving and hating the idea of cleaning my apartment this afternoon! Maybe I’ll go to a psistaria.