2.6.09

Dreams


My friend P-Lo used to have a dream-catcher in his room above his bed. He said that since he made it (he’s very arty) he hasn’t had a bad dream. So I wanted one. But I didn’t make it. I couldn’t be bothered, I was too busy riding my bike and scraping my knees. Instead I bought mine from a cheap tourist shop in Paphos. Instead of catching the bad dreams they multiplied. Was it a faulty dream-catcher? Who knows? Who cares? Well… I do. So I got rid of the dream-catcher but I still had weird dreams. Since I was a kid I had the strangest types of dreams. And they carried on into adult life.

Usually my dreams are like action movies. I swear, it’s like I’m starring in my own personal blockbuster – too bad it’s made in my head and not in Hollywood where I would be grossing million right now and this blof would received as many millions of hits as I make (Oscar for best actor, soundtrack by Missy Elliot). My dreams mostly involve me running from someone, running to someone or chasing someone. Usually they are black and white and there isn’t much talking, just running, and shouting. It’s a bit like Sin City minus the special effects or the extreme levels of violence. And usually they end before I wake up – which is a shame. It’s like leaving a movie half-way through.

They also analyze what language you dream in; usually English. But a couple of times I has a few foreign-language dreams; in Spanish and once in Hebrew (can't you nominate those for the Best Movie of a foreign languages - more like foreign nature?). And once I think in Italian – or maybe it was my Italian friend waking me up and speaking in Italian, or maybe it was just after having watched the Godfather. Luckily I didn't wake up with a horse's head in my bed. Not that I own a horse, or a little pony! And I think once one of my cameos in my dream said ‘yeia sou’ and then swore in Greek. I think I even had a dream in franglais. But maybe that was after I watched Spanglish. Who knows. I mean it wasn't like I was wide awake. I did have my eyes wide shut!

Most people don’t like hearing about others’ dreams. But I love it. Maybe it’s because I have an over-active imagination… or maybe I just want to hear that people’s dreams are weirder than mine… But as long as you can articulate your dream well, I want to hear it. Usually people’s dreams are more interesting than their real life. When you ask how their day went they’ll tell you about their phone call with their mother or that they ran out of toothpaste. If you ask them what they did at night they’ll tell you about their party at Zoo Lounge. And usually nothing really happens they’re just answering your question. The interesting stuff is the things they volunteer to you. ‘Guess what dream I had…’ and all of a sudden you know that some ridiculous thing happened (although it didn’t because it was dreamed but still…).

What I hate is people telling you what they did and then showing you, usually it’s shopping (girls) or car (boys). Who cares if it comes in silk as well as wool? So your car has leather seats? Big deal? Am I bothered? Am I bothered though? But I do like cars that have the name Saloon – because it reminds me of saloons in the Wild West, which is a bar for cowboys. And what do bars offer? Alcohol. Stories involving alcohol are even more interesting than dreams because they are just as whacky and even better… they actually happened. So fill me up (with your stories and with the booze).

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