End of 2008/beginning of 2009

The previous year(s) has(have) been a hasten rollercoaster rides of adventures and thrills. And where has it brought me? To the present moment, flaws and all and tales to tell. It hasn’t necessarily altered me, the core of me, but it has made me wiser and has taught me lessons about life that only I could learn by myself through lessons given by experience and our own personal journey through time.

The past years have been glitter, they sparkled, there were colours; red, yellow and green with shades of blue. There were disco balls galore and giant dance floors; houses with adventures in beds, bath and beyond; breakfast at noon, lectures in clubbers’ philosophy and essays on travel. I have made phenomenal friends, some for fun and some for life; some who will be a constant in my life wherever they are on the globe, and some have turned from lovers into enemies; who will be released from my memories rather than erased from my mind with all photos of us burnt.

But life had an angry edge; there was a jagged side to me that needed to be smoothed down; there was a tiger within had needed to be tamed. And somehow these past few months, with work and solitude, like the change in the weather that you never really expected there grew a more pleasant, calmer and settled side within me. The important of feeling good and making other feel good too was realised. The mantras of; being the best you can be; make everyone you see feel good; smile; wish everyone the best; be thankful; they all made sense somehow – something within me put these into motion. And yes, some people are still mean and moody and glum. Let them be. You be open and honest and fair and kind and others will feel this and respond to it and you will get this back.

And this brings me to the present moment. To the end of 2008 and beginning of 2009. The past year has been hectic, on personal and global scales; and it has brought everyone down back to basic – we realise now what is important in life; the friends, the family; the goodness within. It’s not easy to admit or want these but it is necessary within us to acknowledge them and to gain them. Organic food, water with bits of gold in it, frou-frou clothes and la-la land dreams… these are okay but ultimately pointless. What endures is the creativity, the spirit and the imagination within. Colours are bright yellow and red are being replaced by more earthy colours or brown, golden-sand and green. Aero-kick workouts are being replaced by yoga. Inner sanctums of the brain replace the chill-out rooms of clubs where you can by oxygen (I can’t believe people do that. Buy what’s already provided). Cooking home food will replace 4-piece sushi that cost €30 (not including delivery) and modern art will be made at home, where let’s face it will be better and cheaper than the ‘art’ you buy in some galleries. This is not to say that we will all become hippies and stop wearing deodorant (perish the thought) nor will it mean that the world will be better instantly but there will be gradual changes.

There will now be a return to the basics, the feel-good factor will live on but in a different form but it will still be fun. It’s just a clearer, sober kind of fun, with rays of the sun rather than neon-lights.

(Tough year for the Nicosia Housewife then).

Happy 2009 – I wish you all the best

Run for the Hills

I speak fluent Spanish. I can read Hebrew and tell you about Judaism. I do yoga. I am a fast runner and a good swimmer. I can talk about politics and French wine. I work out four times a week and can discuss the pros and cons of the Geneva Convention. Some say I’m smart. Not if you judge me by what I watch because I watch rubbish!!!!

I am addicted to trash TV the way a fat kid is addicted to cake. My brother gave me copies of The Hills, the story of Lauren Conrad, who lives in LA and has a life some of us are unable to dream of. So I put the copies on and there was sound but no image. My computer showed me nothing (although I did hear at one point that Lauren was going to go shopping). I was distraught. I actually opened a bottle of white wine and had a glass wondering what Lauren was going to buy (duh! Clothes! And while she would shop 50 guys would probably propose to her).

I love European cinema, you know the kind where three people fall in love with each other and one moves to Moscow to discover himself while the other two open up a cake shop painted purple and go to raves. That type. But I also love trash TV. I cannot get enough of it. I was addicted to Big Brother, the English, Greek and Hungarian version, X-Factor, Survivor, Laguna Beach, The Simple Life, Dismissed… practically anything on MTV. I love the Real Life. At one point I actually joined a gym so I could watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians because I didn’t have Nova and that was the only place I could see it. But at least I could watch KUWTK with Greek sub while I was on the treadmill. Now I can run 5km without a break in under 10 minutes.

Of course these are just the reality. There is more: Gossip Girl, the OC, Dirty Sexy Money… the list is endless.

But what is our fascination with this phenomenon? We all want to have this amazing lifestyle where we sip cocktails at noon and go swimming. Actually we do; while living in Cyprus that can easily be done; but it doesn’t compare to LA. I know that I am trying to turn Nicosia into this crazy hip New York City of Cyprus. But who am I kidding? I try to live the Sex and the City lifestyle but it’s more Ex and the City if you read my recent posts. Wherever I have gone in Nicosia I have left a trail of destruction somehow (banned from Maple Leaf, told off at Zoo, fighting in Babylon…). Actually writing this made me realise that maybe I should have my own TV show ‘BabyBusinessMan and the City’ or maybe we could call it ‘The CY’. I could have a camera crew following me around in Nicosia, on dates, ordering at Mondo Café, going to Marks and Spencer home to buy stuff for my apartment, going to work, shopping at the periptero.... And then we can have a spin-off: BabyBusinessMan: the Beach (in Limassol).

Crazy Exes of 2008 are back. What?

Wow... have some people really gotten into the Christmas spirit.

Ex no3 of 2008
So I told you my ex has gotten in contact with me and wants to get back together. I said yes provisionally but I really don't think I'm interested. She probably only wants to get back because it's Christmas and wants an extra present. Well... it's not going to be me. I don't even know why I said yes, I guess I had nothing to do.

Ex no2 of 2008 (that I kind of fell in love with...)*
And my ex-ex, the love of 2008 has unblocked me on facebook. Should I care? I guess these gestures are too little, too late at the end of the year.

So it looks like everyone is in the Christmas spirit. I would be too... but I'm a Jew.

My lovelife used to be so interesting... now I'm talking about exes on facebook... hmmm... maybe some fun for the New Year? I think so...

*If you're wondering what happened to ex no1 of 2008 that's another story.

Snooping around

So I have to admit it. I was snooping. I can't help it... it's just too juicy this time of year. Yes... it's because of facebook. Everyone is having parties and posting all the evidence of fun on the website that I cannot resist checking out the photos they've uploaded.

Who is seen holding what drink. Who is hugging whom. What club are they at? Did they buy that tie in M&S and is that an S&M bar? Why the hell didn't he shave and he's friends with her?

I love it. It's like Big Brother stills into their life and what they have been up to this Christmas. On the other hand it makes me feel that I have not been out in what feels like a century (work work work) so I need to make a special effort to look good and go out.

So I am going to do two things tonight. Go for coffee and check out your pics on facebook. Until then, have a great week guys!

G xoxo

PS - Cake I loved your party last night!

Cypriot KKK (Merry Xmas)

I work long hours and don't get back home until late but yesterday was an exception. It was Christmas Eve and I was at my parents' home in the afternoon. The TV was on and in the background I could hear Elita; a show I don't watch as I am not home.

The subject was Margarita; a Cypriot girl (I stress; a citizen of this nation) of African descent who was violently beaten and hospitalised for five days by racist Cypriot youths. (I would gladly describe how I feel about them but it's Christmas and...)

Not only am I ashamed about my nation now but I can't believe these people are not punished. In fact I can't believe one of the girls who attacked Margarita actually called up and said that 'Margarita was also calling us names.' What a fucking bitch. Not only does she show NO REMORSE by not apologising but she actually called up and tried to justify her position. What kind of family does she come from? She and the scum that she is part of (family and friends) not only makes me embarrassed to be Cypriot but embarrassed to be human.

I know this kind of thing happens all over the world; but we are a beautiful nation and these types of people ruin it for the rest of us. I am so ashamed. And I apologise to Margarita; I hope she has the strength to continue and the depth of character to overcome these traumas. But what's more, she is a citizen of the Republic of Cyprus and was discriminated against because of her colour... and I thought I had it 'bad' for wanting to become a Jew...

Like dogs, it looks like these racists are for life and not just for Christmas.
I hope you have a good Christmas...

Landmines in Bosnia

Dearest Friends,
it's Christmas Eve, so I thought I'd tell you about landmines in Bosnia...

I decided to write about landmines in Bosnia after I read an article about it. You see, I went to Bosnia this summer and was pleasantly surprised by the charm it possessed and how picturesque Sarajevo was. We won’t get into the details of the war here but while on a tour of Sarajevo the tour guide pointed out two mountains and said that we were not allowed to go there because they are still filled with landmines. Like anyone else, Laverne and I thought that the authorities were working on clearing those mountains up.

They are not. Bosnia has run out of money to clear the countryside from landmines and other explosives left for the war. Bosnia in fact still has 220,000 landmines literally lying around. It is the only European country that is riddled with so many landmines.

You may ask why I feel so strongly about this. Firstly, Cyprus is also filled with landmines along the buffer zone and still posses a danger to us. Secondly, landmines are not built to kill, they are built to maim. So they actually do more harm and cause more pain than a bullet. Thirdly, kids, hikers, farmers are now exposed to landmines in the countryside of Bosnia. According to the International Herald Tribune, ‘since the war ended, mines have inured 1,665 people, including 487 fatalities.’ The statitstics get worse and I’m not going to post them here but you get the gist. The above facts are terrible, people still dying from landmines? And now Bosnia has run out of money to rid the country of landmines? Let’s not mention that ethnic tensions have flared up again to make matters worse.

Where are international donations to clean the country of the landmines? So the war has ended and now everything is okay? It doesn’t seem to be. By having landmines strewn around Bosnia the war continues. Something has to be done – but the Balkan nations are too busy suing one another to do anything about it ans talk about what atrocities committed rather than helping the country (or each other develop).

I thought I’d add the link to the Halo Trust – a charity that specialises in the removal of debris of war.

http://www.halotrust.org/

As of 1997, there were 16,000 landmines in Cyprus. Right now I don’t know where the number stands.

Happy Hannukah

Okay so I know you guys are not Jews, but...
Happy Hannukah!

Today is the first of the eight days of Hannukah
Did you Nicosians spot the giant Menorah outside Likavitos police station?
I think it's great that we have a Menorah there (with the first candle already lit). But what does it say about us when it has to be outside a police station?
Nevertheless, I'm pleased it's there...

The Mall and the Drool

I met my friend Milky on Saturday at the Mall of our Nation. OMG! The amount of people... the shopping... the queues! It was like being in the underbelly of consumerism. How much do people shop? And half the people there weren't even shopping... they just went for a 'volta'. Who would want to walk around the Mall of the Nation when it is literally heaving with people? Christmas cheer? What Christmas cheer? People were pushing, swearing, sweating and shoving. Being in the Mall at Christmas would make the most devout Christian want to change religion! No wonder the Pope doesn't do his own shopping.

But you know what was worse? Orphanides Nicosia. It was like going from the Mall of Cyprus to the Drool of Cyprus. It was dreary, dangerous, almost sad to be there. Why don't they fix it a little and make it a more pleasant place to shop?

Oh well...

Fear of Phones

Why are people (especially teenagers and Cypriots women and men under the age of 50) obsessed with their mobile phones? I love my phone and I need it all the time. However I don’t ring people up all the time and my phone isn’t constantly ringing but when it does… oh lo behold… who could the caller be. My Mum (asking me to do something I should have done a long time ago) or Cake (asking me to try her cake) or PartyAnimal (asking me to party). Or a random I once dated asking for a second night out… (after 4 months? I’m nice not stupid).

What did we do before the times of mobile phones? How did we function? I truly can’t remember. I remember getting a phone in my room when I was 12 in the shape of a frog whose red eyes lit up every time it rang. That’s when I began pranking people, when I couldn’t sleep (but that’s another story). And so getting a mobile, like getting a phone in my room (it wasn’t even my own line) made me feel connected. A little too connected.

And that’s what’s scary. On Saturday night I got two phone calls after 11. I was in bed so I didn’t pick up. But I was embarrassed to be in bed and so pretended to be out at Zoo. When they asked me the next day where I was I said Zoo. ‘Me too’ they responded. Oh ho! Gotcha! ‘Great’ I said and smiled and turned away. ‘What floor?’ my friend insisted. ‘The fifth’ I said. ‘Don’t you mean the fourth?’ he pressed on. Then I used my default answer; ‘I can’t remember… I was drunk!’

So not only can the track you down while you’re at Zoo, but while you’re not at Zoo. And even after Zoo asking why you didn’t go! It’s a scary turn of events these mobiles are. They are mobile and they follow you around like the KGB! Which is why I hardly gave out my home phone. I text only my closest friends. My Dad, the one person who should have all my info, even called me up asking me who I was. He didn’t have my home phone or mobile phone! On the other hand, my Mum can only reach me by email. Plus, when I was telling people about my home line, I didn’t call… I text! How polite!

Remember a few months back when I lost all my numbers on my phone? I loved it. Now I have a fraction of the numbers back and if people text I ask ‘who are you?’ If I don’t like them I’ll pretend I don’t know them. I don’t want to be accessible to every random who I gave my number out to (and believe me, when I go out, I had out my number like Santa hands out gifts). The Americans were right to call it a cell (short for cellular phone). Cell seems the appropriate word as I often feel trapped with my phone. Having a phone is like being tied to a ball and chain in a Kazak prison.

I like text messages. I like getting them because I can view them in my own time. But I get tired of fiddling away at the buttons. I love email more. I told you how email is the love of my life and my longest relationship. Emails… and Margaritas of course. Emails are great – you can email me and I respond right away, unless I have work. But texts, unless you are my friend Barb who emails me random comments that say things like ‘scuzz’ and ‘c u next Tuesday’ then I worry what I will expect. And the thing is… I don’t know why mobiles are such a stressful thing. At the end of the day when people have something serious to say like ‘I don’t love you anymore’ or ‘I’m painting the house black’ they don’t call, email or phone! They just never call you again. You go home to find out that your partner has a) left you or b) turned your stylish apartment into a goth-shack! And then you find the phone bill.

Moral of the story: all this stress about the mobile is unnecessary. Mobile phones though aren’t.

My ex is back via email! What?

So my ex has emailed me after unceremoniously dumping me months ago. It's not that I mind being dumped - I mean - I dumped many a dates - but she did it while I drinking Margaritas with my friends on a Thursday night. And no one ruins my Margarita nights.

So I see this email that she sent like... in November... which I didn't check out because I had no computer. So I see this email that went something like:
BabyBusinessMan, hiiiiiii.... I miss youuuuuuuu... Love youuuuuuuuuu... :) kiss kiss xoxoxoxoxo

And I'm like - what? You said you missed your ex which is why you ended it and now you miss me? WTF? So being the good Jew that I am, I respond and am like: Hi... did you have a good birthday last week?
So I am waiting for a reply. I don't think I want to date her again - it's not worth the trouble with her. But maybe we'll meet up and see... but I don't think I am interested. If she wants to get back together, she can do all the work. Otherwise she can leave me alone like she did earlier this year...

On another note... I was shopping at the Mall of Our Nation today when I bumped into this other girl I was psuedo-dating in Limassol. She was with a new guy. And she totally ignored me and the guy she was with was cute but not that hot. I was going to be like: don't come to Nicosia and fucking ignore me when you see me in Pull and Bear. But I was at the check out counter and couldn't be bothered to leave it.

Also I went to a dinner party the other day with a bunch of posh people. Fuck! You can't go anywhere in Nicosia without meeting someone who knows someone you know. It's crazy. I can't sneeze without everyone bitching about it! I really have to understand the fact that I am no longer in London!

I have more news too, but I am going to watch a movie so I'll post soon!

Hope you are all okay beeatches!

Germany is right...

Was ist das? Screamed the Germans when they heard of Britain’s idea to cut VAT rates. The German finance minister, Peer Steinbrück) criticised Britain’s plans to cut the VAT rate which would mean a whole generation would pay off and added as a remark would you buy a DVD player if it was lowered by less than a pound during the recession. No. So the VAT cut does not help anyone. And now everyone has turned against Germany demanding that they contribute some of their (hard earned) cash (may I add) to the recession because they were not conservative with their spending.

Why should Germany help? It’s Germany’s money and they should keep it. Maybe I’m being insensitive because in Cyprus the recession has not been that bad compared to other countries. However, I don’t see why Angela Merkel should sign away her country’s money to other EU states because they are going bankrupt. France has been pressuring Germany to cough up with Sarkozy saying that while France works, Germany thinks. I love the French but please don’t tell me that they work when they take days off like it’s going out of style and when they have the most national holidays! What? Now France decides to work. Merkel must b doing something right saying no to Europe as she still retains something ridiculous like 95% ratings in her party polls.

America has practically been printing money to save well… everything… Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the banks, the motor industry… and it has got them nowhere – so how will adding on more billions to the package help Europe? And why should Germany do it?

To rub the Europeans up further, not only are Germans happy to have Merkel reject the EU’s demand for more cash but they are not going to cut back on their Christmas shopping as… they don’t have to. Their economy is still robust, so why should they? Of course there are political reasons too – Germany goes to the polls in September, and no one will change tax rates before Christmas… but still… this time (as it usually is when it comes to money) Deutschland hat rechts.*

*And I hope my German grammar is right too!