The Everyday Must have Guide

Things you should always have on you:

Paracetamol – for those annoying tension headaches

Water – for your skin – and the quench your thirst

Chewing gum – for when you have nothing to do

Breath mint – for when you might kiss someone

Tissues – for those spontaneous sneezes… Gesundheit!

Things you should do:

Keep your shirt tucked in – for those business meeting or in case you bump into someone important like the President or Britney Spears

Have gelled hair – as above

Wear sunglasses – to protect against the sun and look mysterious and a tad CIA-ish

Things you should never do:

Eat Onions during lunch - for when you might kiss someone

Park in a haphazard way – speeding tickets I can understand, parking tickets I cannot!

Things you should never ever do:

Write lists like these. People don't care about advice you give them.

Read lists like these. People don't know what they are talking about.

Hipstamatic Nicosia

Nicosia. With my Hipstamatic. On a chilly December night. Just within the walled city.

Zara home opens in FFM

Perfect German city?

What city represents the country? Can ever one city fully embody the country it’s in? When we say France we really mean Paris, and Vienna is more or less Austria minus the snow. But does a city like London ever represent the UK? Didn’t the Guardian newspaper have a debate asking is London bad for Britain? Does Athens represent Greece or is Greece represented in the blue of its sea and thousands islands. And if you had to choose one city to represent the country which one do you choose? Tel Aviv or Jerusalem? NYC or LA? Rio or Sao Paolo?

And that’s the question that I asked here in Germany. Which city is quintessentially German and represents Germany? The answer is; none. They are all far too different and divergent to fully embody Germany – but rather embody different tastes of German culture, history and lifestyle that make up this country. So to sum up, there is no typical German city. Below I explain why.

Frankfurt: the most international city in Germany and one of the most multicultural in Europe. People come here to work not to party – although invariably they have to party during the weekend to let off steam. Serious, smart and sleek, Frankfurt is that commercial capital city that works and generate revenue for Germany (notably Berlin and the bankrupt EU states like the PIGS). The money comes from banks and only became Europe’s financial hub after WWII. New money that was make with working hard and serious but not nouveau riche. There is a lot of money is a small amount of space and as the city runs from east to west along the Main you can easy get around the city limits by bike – which is rather pleasant on a good day

Hamburg: similar to Frankfurt in the sense that it is steeped in cash – but Germany’s second city is old money – we are talking – Hanseatic League money – where the city of owned by about 10 families who have always had cash it is no longer an issue. It is classy more than classic and definitely not flashy (cue Munich). The city is low key with grand building by the lake and port. A wonderful city for shopping and only under two hours from Berlin. It rivals Munich for the second city status but in more recent years its profile has grown and is a serious contender for pleasant European city breaks. Viva Hamburg.

Munich: the opposite of Hamburg. More Italian in style, similar to Austria but the capital of Bavaria has a very distinct culture. Ferraris, Porches and the like fill the streets and avenues and you would not be wrong for feeling closer to the Med. Flashy and bling-bling would be a way to describe Munich with people wearing expensive sunglasses and designer gear.

Cologne: Germans love this city. For the carnival, for the bars and because this is the most relaxed part of Germany which also happens to be Germany’s gay capital.

Dusseldorf: Germany’s Florida – where old people go to retire and also German’s fashion capital – spread along the Rhine it is trendy and friendly. It is also an international hub though not like Frankfurt which is swimming in expats. There you need to integrate further into the German way of life.

Berlin: currently everyone’s favourite city… Berlin is undergoing a revival. Capital to a country of 82m Berlin only has around 3m inhabitants and is by far Germany’s largest city. A haven for artists, street fairs, anything new and innovative, it is the place to be in Germany (so I am told). Poor by sexy is the city’s slogan and recognizes that though it has a lot to offer it has 20% unemployment and generates almost no revenue for Germany.

Other cities that deserve a mention: Stuttgart, Mainz, Dresden, Leipzig, Bonn, Hannover, Bremen and Nurnberg.

Smoking in... Frankfurt? 2

Last night I went out to a bar in Frankfurt. I had a really good time except for the fact (and this will probably be a major theme in Germany) that it was a smokers’ paradise. German law states that a bar can be pro-smoking if its floor space is less than X amount of feet, separate from the non-smoking parts of the venue and does not serve food. Still… that doesn’t stop the fact that I still reek at the end of the night and inhale everyone’s second hand smoke.

Most of Europe is non-smoking (except Germany (but Bavaria is smoke free), Austria, and Greece which passed one anti-smoking law with 21 loopholes) so to the ex-smoker smoking in a bar is almost sacrilege. What makes matters worse is that Frankfurt is an international city and therefore is filled with Europeans and Americans who, away from their country’s laws are making the most of the lax German laws and so are smoking like chimneys… although chimneys are less smelly.

Last night, at the table next to mine, sat three English gentlemen, all of which smoked constantly as they non longer have this right in the UK. You can imagine how I smelt at the end of the night with all their smoke wafting over me.

I asked my German friend why this law was so and he explained that the tobacco industry great contributes to the economy of Germany and banning smoking would have an adverse effect on the economy. Well they managed to ban it in America, which surely generates more revenue from the tobacco industry than Germany, and yet they have banned it, so why is Germany the hostage of the Marlboro Man? Another argument is that it is too cold for Germans to smoke outdoors. Well the Swedes seemed to have managed.

So what’s the solution for ex and non smokers? I suppose it is to go out, inhale other people’s fumes and have a shower at the end of the night… providing there is hot water in the reservoir. And the clothes? We can’t keep washing them! Well… I guess we’ll have to buy some new ones… and charge it to the smokers. With around 70% tax on a packet of cigarettes, surely they can afford it.

And then today, on the way to work I accidentally tipped over one of those huge outdoor ashtrays with my bike, knocking the whole thing to the ground and spilling out all the trash and cigarette butts. The smokers around me helped me clear up. Thanks for your help guys…and I’ll admit it… you are not the root of all evil.

Smoking in... Frankfurt?

So you know I am all crazy about fitness and health. Well then you would also know that I hate smoking (though I do hold some smokers very close to my heart despite their nicotine habit). As you are aware most of the world is going non-smoking… even in Milan is had been banned everywhere (if you smoke indoors in Milan it is like you insulted Gucci, Pucci and Prada all in one sentence) and now even in NYC they are on the brink of banning smoking on the street.

Now… when we think of Germany, we always think of being outdoors, lush, green forests, perhaps an Apple strudel and always in the top 10 in the Olympics… Germany is a nation that loves the outdoors (and to prove this, out of a country of 80m people, their largest city is 3m – so they choose to live and respect the outdoors). So you can imagine my shock… and I mean I was practically foaming at the mouth, when I went clubbing last weekend and discovered that they still allow smoking in clubs. There is a smoking and non-smoking section.

Now I hear smokers around the world groan (too bad, hear me out… smoke on your cigarette)… but the smoking/non-smoking thing does not work. Why? Because people ultimately gravitate towards the smokers’ section, which is always bigger and more modern and plays R&B (the non-smokers room always resembles a club from the 80s and is filled by non-smokers because these people get their kicks from other substances and by default do not smoke). So the smoking/non-smoking law cancels itself out and by default you technically have a smokers club.

Apparently after some research (also called bitching to the poor Germans who would hear me out) I was told that only in Bavaria is there a 100% smoking ban and apparently Berlin is super-strict with smoking, which is surprising because I’d have guessed that a city like Berlin is so laissez-faire smoking a cigarette in kindergarten wouldn’t go amiss there but… ok… I am not a Berliner… I am now a Frankfurter and I plan to change this law… one club at a time…

Part Two: Bike Envy

So after I pimped my ride but pumping air into the wheels and buying a lock for it I began to ride my brand-spanking new second-hand bike across town. I did look rather cool. It has to be said. Now, where I am from, Cyprus, the most materialistic place on the planet, men often go out of their way for an expensive car. It is not uncommon to see someone of 25 years of age driving a BMW (thanks daddy) or 36 year old men who still live at home but drive Ferraris or men who would sell their mother for a Hummer (check out mother4hummer.com). This is all in a vain attempt to show other men who is better and more successful and to get women into bed. It’s the typical ‘I got something that you don’t have’ attitude. I on the other hand do not have this attitude. As long as my car is economical and goes I am happy… so no pimped rides for me. Until that is, I got my bike.

All of a sudden I was struck down with a jealous and frenzied streak. Why the H should he had a fluorescent green saddle whereas mine is black? Oooh, look at that man with the basket – where did I get it from? Gah! She has a German flag attached to her bike… I want one too! I was seized with an uncontrollable urge to bike-accessorize. Can you even begin to understand what that feels like? I was almost in hysterics and went straight to Sport Arena for some fluorescent gear for the bike… anything would do right now… I even wanted a buggy for the baby that is attached to the back of a bike for only €478.95 (bargain!) (though there are no babies in the history of my romantic life) … but I would have needed a baby to use that properly… and I’m just too busy to get one of those right now… after all I had to focus on accessorizing my bike… I can’t be seen riding around FFM with a sub-standard bike, right?

PS don’t tell anyone it is second-hand. We want those bankers to see I pimp my ride!